The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

weddings vs. marriage January 7, 2010

Filed under: Community — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:42 pm
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That’s me and the parents…back in the day obviously.  You can tell that I’m super smart because my head was extra gigantic, LOL!

When I see that picture, not only do I miss my dad who’s passed away, but I feel like that’s what I’m excited about…marriage and family.  More about that than the wedding.  And I’ve got to tell you, I’ve been feeling the pressure to want to do “typical” wedding stuff…and it’s not cool dude, not cool!  I’m excited about the wedding in that it’s a time for me and The Mister to stand in front of the fam and friends and tell them that we’re ready to start of new phase of our lives.  I just don’t know how all of the extras fit into that reality.

I was struggling with those thoughts when I got this unsolicited email from a friend:

Well I eloped last year because we wanted to buy a house. We had everything planned out which ended up being stressful because of other people telling me what to do for my wedding as well as putting in traditions that I really did not care for or wanted to do. Remember that it is your day and it is your dream wedding. Do whatever makes you happy and is within you means. Life is too short to try to make everyone happy.

That’s when I realized that the whole story isn’t told in all of those wedding photos I’ve been drooling over.  Then I did my daily blog visit to A Practical Wedding and she’s talking about it too…check out the comments section, it’s chock full of brides who were unhappy with their weddings, but incredibly happy with their marriages.

So how do we do it?  How do we have a meaningful wedding that’s not too stressful?  How do we make it personal and not cliche?  More importantly, how do The Mister and I have fun?

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6 Responses to “weddings vs. marriage”

  1. My worst fear has always been that I will not enjoy my wedding. But I am an enternal cynic by nature.

    How can you not enjoy it if all your favorite people are there? It will work out. Don’t worry

    • dknytx Says:

      You’re probably right, and I’m like Patti in that I’m uber detail-oriented so what could go wrong? (That phrase is every detail-oriented person’s nightmare!) 🙂

  2. Patti Says:

    First of all, I love Meg’s blog. She really tells it like it is and puts it out there.

    Second, I must say that I had a really good time at our wedding. But I was a PLANNING NAZI! Timelines, lists, detailed responsibilities for my team. And the day before I walked them through the stuff I couldnt write, but had to show them. I was completely at ease on wedding day because I really had thought about almost everything.

    Also, I gotta say that I’m a hostess my nature. I love to socialize (I’m sure to my manager’s chagrin – lol). And my husband is a ham. So we loved the wedding, reception and afterparty. Totally our element.

    While I dont think that you will magically enjoy the day simply because you’re getting married, I do think that if its well planned, you’re less likely to stress about it going well.

    But dont worry, its going to be fab 🙂

  3. Stephanie Says:

    Re: how do The Mister and I have fun?

    I think you just have to make a promise/commitment to yourself and each other that you WILL have fun on your wedding day and NOTHING will keep you from having the time of you life, even if things don’t go “perfectly”

    That’s what we did. We said no matter what happens nothing is going to ruin our day and even though mostly everything went as planned we didn’t let the minor things that went wrong to stress us out or effect us in a negative way. We just dealt with it and moved on. We put so much time and energy into planning our wedding there was no way we were not going to enjoy the fruits of our labor!


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