The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

real talk February 13, 2010

Filed under: Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 5:56 am
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A few folks were asking about the premarital workbook The Mister and I are using, so I figured I’d write a bit about it.  First, I bought it on amazon so you can go over there to read reviews and whatnot.  Second, they’re written from a Christian perspective, so if that’ s gonna bother you…you’ve been warned.

Anyhoo, I think The Mister and I are absolutely wonderful together.  We know how to have fun and how to love and support one another.  I think one thing that we don’t do well is serious talk.  I’m not talking about if there’s sickness in the family or something, because I know both of us would drop whatever we’re doing and figure it out later.  A quick story.  My dad died in 2008 very suddenly…like I’d talked to him the night before and the next day he was dead.  I was devastated, shocked, everything you’d assume.  That night (after I was exhausted from calling family members), he says, “so when are we leaving?”  The Mister and I had only been dating a month when my dad died, yet he offered to be there when I needed him most.  That’s when I figured out he was a keeper.

But everyday serious stuff?  We’re not so good at that.  Like bills, and how to raise kids, and family histories…naw, we needed the book.  Neither one of us is comfortable bringing it up, but neither one of has any problem talking about it…once the book tells us we can, lol.  Using the book frees the both of us from thinking the other is being accusatory or anything.

Here you go, cover with table of contents:

I recommend doing some sort of workbook or premarital couselor to take the conversation a bit deeper.  This one gets my thumbs up.   We’ve got another book that just has questions in it that we’ll go thru once we’re finished with this one.  The Mister doesn’t like the “workbook” aspect I don’t think, but we’ve had fun doing the exercises still the same.  Each time we finish, we get all smoochy and say how cool that was to learn more about each other.  The other night after finishing up, this was our conversation:

Me: I’m going to try my hardest to be the best wife I can be.

The Mister: And I’m going to try my hardest to be the best husband I can be.

Me: I love you!

The Mister: I love you so much!

*starry eyes*