The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Rings June 2, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:54 pm
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So these are The Mister and I’s rings.  I’d told y’all before that I love flower rings and because he loves me…he got a jeweler to make a flower ring for me!  It’s yellow & white gold and diamonds and it’s sitting inside of his band which I also love  (I legitimately am the queen of blurry pictures, but hopefully you get the idea).  Rings are a wonderful wedding and marriage tradition…but we just had to put our spin on it.

Anyhoo, we went to see Sex and The City before we left for Mexico and I loved it.  No, it’s not Shakespeare, but it is SATC and it did what it was supposed to do.  But one of the cool parts of the movie is right at the beginning when all of the ladies are gathered at a wedding.  The one guy is all about an over the top experience/event/wedding and the other dude is trying to be a rebel against tradition and be “anti” guy.  But as soon as he starts his vows and professes them in front of his fam and friends, the emotion of the moment overtakes him.

Because there is something to tradition.  There is something to having a wedding and all of the leadup and all of the planning.  Now that I’m on the other side, I think of how different it would have been to elope.  To skip learning how to problem solve as a couple rather than just by myself.  To miss out of being gracious in the face of people’s not always so kind words.  To bypass the gravity of the moment.

The tradition of a wedding is powerful.  It’s bigger than me.  It’s bigger than The Mister.  It’s big.  And because of that you get nervous and worry about everything large and small.  Weddings force you to be sure about something bigger than you…it’s a leap of faith.  Not just about your day and the details that you’ve spent months thinking about and planning.  But about your relationship.  Because of the “big”ness of getting married, I really spent a lot of time thinking and praying and I had such peace about marrying The Mister.  Peace that I’ll be a good wife for him and that he’ll be a good husband to me.  That we’ll create a positive and happy home together.  That we’ll do fabulous things as a Mr. and Mrs….maybe things that we wouldn’t have been able to accomplish singly.  And because I’m a church girl, peace that God truly did bring us together.

So eloping wouldn’t have been for me.  I personally needed to the “big” day and all that comes with it.  I realize that everyone is different and many folks have eloped and their marriages have been wonderful…but it wouldn’t have worked for me.

As you can see, this whole thing has made me quite thoughtful about this whole “wedding and marriage process” so I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts later.