The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

And you are? July 5, 2010

Filed under: Post wedding — Happy Nappy Bride @ 4:10 pm
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With all of this traveling that The Mister and I’ve been doing, answering the question of who I am is easier said than proven.

Remember our travel schedule May 31 – June 10 in Mexico, June 15 – 20 in Arizona, June 28 – 30 in Wisconsin working a camp, and July 1 – 3 in Baltimore at a wedding.  So not a lot of days to get the house cleaned up of all our gifts and wedding stuff, send out thank you cards, try to organize two people’s stuff in one place…oh, and try to enjoy being married.  Also not a lot of time to try to get this name change business together.

So lots of folks get married right?  Like all the time huh?  And according to that Psychology Today article I quoted before, 83% of chicas change their names, which means that those powers that be should know how to do this right?  So why is it so hard?  First things first, please understand that you’ve only got thirty days after your wedding date to change your benefits info at work…that’s huge.  I didn’t know this.  How?  I don’t know, but I didn’t so I figured that maybe you didn’t either.

Anyhoo, trying to get a copy of our marriage certificate has been more difficult than finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  They don’t take checks…I haven’t been in town…so I’ve been married over a month and still don’t have one in my hot little hands.  I need that certificate for everything else to flow.  FYI, check out the Thirty Something Bride’s post on name changing and save your money with those companies that claim to help.

Limbo…it’s not just a pole dance (hee, hee), but a place where newlyweds live when you know that you’ve got a new name (yippee!) but have absolutely no way to prove it.  Here’s an example from this past weekend.

*I was coming back from shopping because The Mister had wedding work to do*

Me:  Hi there!  Can I have another key made please?  We can’t find our other one.
Lady at the counter:  Sure, what’s your name and room number?
Me: *give her the info*
Lady at the counter:  Great…I just need to see some id!
Me: *heavy sigh, because I’ve been thru this before* Okay, so the name doesn’t match because we just got married.
Lady at the counter:  *making funny face* Do you have any id with your new name on it?
Me: *tell her that whole story I just detailed for y’all up there* No, but we are married I promise.
Lady at the counter:  Do you know what card he used to make the reservation?
Me: *slumping shoulders* No.
Lady at the counter:  How about his address?
Me:  *excited because I actually know this information*

That was just to get a hotel key made…ugh!  Did anyone else deal with this craziness or am I just functioning at a very low level, lol!

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8 Responses to “And you are?”

  1. Patti Says:

    Try not to get discouraged hun. Once you get some photo ID with that new name on it, people will be a little better. Oh, and federal employees (like myself) have 60 days to update benefits due to a life event – marriage, baby, etc.

    What I hated was that I had to write to some people, include a copy of my license, to prove that my name was different. Delta Skymiles is on my list now, because despite me telling them my new hyphenated name (in writing), they sent me a card with only Hubs last name on it. And dont get me started on checking in at their airport….ugh!

    But like I said, try not to get discouraged 🙂

    • dknytx Says:

      I feel a lot better now…though yesterday I thought I just might sit down and cry, lol! I’ve got my marriage and driver’s licenses now and spent all of yesterday afternoon calling folks and telling them to change my name.

  2. Frugalista Says:

    What a pain in the booty!!

  3. Ghenet Says:

    I am SO not looking forward to this process!

  4. Nechi194 Says:

    Hey everyone–this is a lovely site for all brides, not just minority women. I’m glad I came across it, and congrats to Dawn and Maurice!

    I did want to mention that honeymoon arrangements–including plane tickets, hotel reservations, etc.–should all be done in your maiden name. There’s nothing you can do about getting the license on the back end, but for those who may not know (and get really excited about using their new name), you might put yourself in a bind unintentionally.


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