So I’m reading this cool book about being a stepmom (because I am one now) and she and her husband came up with rules for arguing and I thought, “what a fabulous idea!” That way no one’s jumping off of the top rope trying to “win”. Of course with a child that’s not mine living in the house there are other things to deal with, but we gotta keep the hubbie/wife relationship tight or else everything else falls apart. Anyhoo, here’s what she said:
She calls them her Rules of Conflict…
- No silent treatment.
- Time to think–thirty minutes or more.
- No fighting in front of the children.
- No running off in the car in the middle of an argument.
- If one person is not ready to talk and has been clear about that, the other person can’t push discussion.
- Come to some resolution or agreement to continue the discussion before bed.
- Always say, “I love you”, and kiss goodnight.
- Never start arguments with “you always” or “you never”.
- If no resolution, thumb war or rock-paper-scissors.
- Must conclude argument with makeup sex. (!!)
- No starting arguments just to have makeup sex. (LOL!!)
- Be nice.
I thought those were good…a nice starting point at least. Arguments will happen right? We’re two people with different ideas on how things “should” be done so I think having some ground rules is a high quality idea. What do you think? Have you and your hubby/hubby-to-be talked about this? What are your rules?