The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

two months in July 28, 2010

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:25 am
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The Mister and I have been married for two whole months now!  So many people say that their relationship isn’t much different after the big day, but I think ours is.  Now I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but here’s what I’ve learned so far:

Marriage is work So many people said that to me before the wedding and I just assumed they meant finding time to do the nasty or for having fun.  Since we’d just gotten married, I figured we wouldn’t have to worry about the “work” of marriage for a while.  But what I’ve learned (and maybe this will change as we’re married longer) is that the work is on me…and it’s uncomfortable.  I pray everyday that I can be the wife that The Mister needs me to be and that means I can’t selfishly walk through life anymore.  I’ve learned that his way is sometimes (as hard as it is to admit) the best way.  I’ve learned that biting my tongue is harder than that statistics class I took in college…and so much more applicable to life!  As it said in my Strong Willed Wife book, I don’t have to say everything that pops into my head.

Marriage feels good I don’t care how long you’ve dated, if you lived together before, whatever…being married is great.  I does feel different and in a very good way.  You and your husband declared not just your love, but your commitment, in front of your friends and family…that’s a game changer folks!  I feel so connected to The Mister, like it’s us against the world.  We were talking about work stuff this week and our goals and I just got so fired up…I couldn’t even sleep that night.  It’s like God had a plan for us all along and He’s slowly revealing it and the way The Mister and I fit together (he’s strong where I’m weak, and vice versa), we could really do some wonderful things together.

Marriage takes time I know you’re thinking…ummm, what?  Not the actual marriage, of course, but everything else.  Getting your name changed and social security cards and drivers licenses and insurance and bank accounts.  It takes time to wrap your brain around not being solo, to fully let go of “my stuff” and make it “our stuff”.  Before we got married, I just figured that we’d have an yours, mine, and ours financial situation and I figured out immediately that it wouldn’t work for us.  I didn’t feel like we were married in our finances.  The first of the month came around and both of us would pull out our respective checkbooks and go to work…there was no cooperation or working together or discussing goals for our loot.  Part of it was logistics since we left so quickly for our honeymoon, so now that things have settled down, we’re working hard to marry our finances as well.

How is your married life different than when you were flying solo?  How have you guys handled your marriage speed bumps?