The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

no more drama August 15, 2010

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 7:27 pm
Tags: , ,

From my girl Michelle Obama in the latest Essence:  “If you want a life free from drama, then you can’t hang out with people who thrive on drama.”

I’ve got a girlfriend who’s been married over a decade and she just recently had to clean house.  Why?  Because the single ladies she was hanging out with enjoyed drama too much.  You know what I mean…booty calls, dating married men (ahem!), outside of “the club” shenanigans, breaking up and getting back together…all too much for a wife and mother to add to her plate.  Quite honestly she just got sick of getting their phone calls, trying to give them intelligent advice, only to have them do the exact opposite…and dial her number again.  It seems that some people truly like drama.

Just like the old cliche says:  you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make her drink…so don’t spend your time trying to explain to that horse how to drink and why drinking that water would be really good for her.  She doesn’t want to drink the water…she just wants to talk about drinking the water.  Years ago, before I got married, I had a friend like this.  Always complaining about being alone and why she was alone, yada, yada, yada.  Our phone calls would always be about an hour and a half to two hours long…and I was always saying the same thing.  But once a week, we had the same convo.  First I tried diverting the conversation, but she had ninja convo skills that always brought the chat back to her favorite subject:  her, lol!  Then I tried ending the phone calls early, but she was hip to that trick.  Finally I (embarrassingly enough) just ignored her calls.

Do you have any energy suckers in your life?  Those ladies that when you see their name on your phone, you already know what the conversation will entail.  How have you handled them?  Did it work?


6 Responses to “no more drama”

  1. Jameil Says:

    Two of them wouldn’t let me end it w/not answering the phone. They sent me evil emails & made me send them ones back. I tried to be as nice as possible about it but they didn’t want that. That was years ago and sometimes I miss their friendship but the drama? I don’t miss that one bit. And when I hear they are STILL doing the same thing 3+ years later, I know I made the right decision.

  2. I wouldn’t call her an energy sucker just yet….she has the best intentions, but the conversation always leads back to her. For example she will ask me how it’s going with selling our house and when I start to give her the latest news, she jumps in an starts talking about how the value of her home has declined, etc, etc… I can never get a word in.

  3. I think that I have distanced myself from the energy suckers that were close friends..they have been moved down a notch in my life and it’s really sad because they are sorors.

    I think that dealing with my future SIL will be a delicate issue. She’s a complainer and folks like that work my nerves.

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