The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Is marriage a “strategic alliance”? September 9, 2010

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 12:30 pm
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I read a lot of business blogs, journals, and magazines for my job and came across an article that I wanted to share with you guys.  The author was comparing how similar marriages are to business partnerships and the article is called, 15 Steps for Successful Strategic Alliances (and Marriages)”. Now I certainly don’t agree with everything that she says, but it’s cool to see how the two “alliances” are similar.  I’m going to split her steps into two different posts so this one isn’t one giganto post…hope you like it!

Be open to romance, but court carefully. She talks about not being surprised when the bloom falls off of the flower.  Romance is great, but have realistic expectations of your spouse. “Hopes, dreams, and visions should be balanced by reality checks.”

Know yourself. Build your strengths. It’s not necessarily that opposites attract, but that complementary people attract.  Take The Mister & I for example.  He’s super good with people and he literally know everyone, while I’m not (as we’ve discussed here before) super awesome with meeting new people and whatnot…but I have fun when I’m in groups.  So we complement!  He invites people over.  I cook and play super hostess.  We both have a blast.

Seek compatibility in values. “There must be a foundation for mutual trust to help weather inevitable changes or problems.”  Wow…this lady could be a marriage counselor!

Treat the ‘extended family’ respectfully. She talks about “winning over” the extended fam…she may have a point here.  I guess I just figured everyone would love me!

Put the lawyers in their place. This from someone in business…lawyers have no place in a relationship.  Amen sister!

Vow to work together until business conditions do us part. This one doesn’t fit.  Note to The Mister:  you’re stuck with me until you die, dude.

But don’t count on the contract. Again I disagree.  I think you can count on the contract in regards to marriage.  The author here says that the contract can’t anticipate everything, but I think our vows do pretty much have it covered.  Love each other when things are awesome and when they’re not?…check! Don’t give up on each other or the marriage…check!  Sick or healthy?…check!

So keep communicating, face-to-face. “Matters are more easily sorted out when partners’ keep talking long after their initial deal-making.”  Good stuff right?  How many times have we heard of marriages falling apart because the people don’t talk and things get all twisted up between them?  Too many!

What do you guys think?  I know of lot of you are business ladies out there…does that sound right?  How are you faring so far?

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4 Responses to “Is marriage a “strategic alliance”?”

  1. Karen Says:

    I think she’s on to something. AND, as a “business lady” I’d like to chalk this up to “why didn’t I think of that” so I can make me some moolah! In my work, I help my clients develop strategic plans and much of this is on point. The “don’t count on the contract” is good because…while you have a contract/vows in place, you still need to work on the business relationship/marriage by delivering on what you agreed to do in the contract. It’s not enough to just HAVE the contract if you don’t but it into action. When you do that, you might get more than what’s in the written contract/vows. For example, more work. And, vows don’t say, “always kill spiders and make the bed up if you are the last one up” but he does it anyway which makes me more inclined to love and honor him. :o)

  2. Good article. I think the last tip you listed about keep comminicating, FACE to FACE should be listed first. I am fortunate to have a man who is a comminicator, after being in several relationships with non-communicators and/or avoiders.


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