The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Are you keeping it up? September 14, 2010

Filed under: Advice — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:04 am
Tags:

Back in the pre-wedding days, I wrote about my wedding workout and trying to whip myself into shape for the big day…you can read about it here.  I’ll admit to not keeping up with it, I can honestly say that I haven’t been to the gym since May!  I need to figure out how to get it in though, because my work hours are so crazy that a little exercise would do my brain good.

Looking back, are you happy with your wedding weight?  Were you too skinny?  Too big?  Or just right?  What advice would you give to ladies getting ready to get married about their weight?

When I look back, I’m happy with what I did because I didn’t focus on getting thin (though that did need to happen in order for me to fit into my dress), but strong.  I’ve always loved the way muscles look on me and that feeling of being strong.  So why haven’t I kept it up, you ask?  Because I never do, lol!  I put together lifting plans in twelve week increments…do a couple of those, take the summer off, and just walk on the treadmill during my season and that takes care of the year.  So really all I’ve skipped is my treadmill walks…but those help me sort through whatever work issues I’m having and I enjoy the time by myself.  I need to figure out how to get it in.

If you could talk to ladies who are about to seal the deal about working out and wedding weight, what would you say?  Besides the fact that it’s physically impossible for a bride not to be radiant…what advice do you have?

 

Lions vs. Bears September 12, 2010

Filed under: Fun with hubbie — Happy Nappy Bride @ 7:48 am
Tags:

No, this post isn’t about The Wizard of Oz (lions and tigers and bears, oh my!), but about my conundrum of the weekend.  You see, later on today, the Detroit Lions will play the Chicago Bears and I’m a Lions fans (which is unfortunate because they’re the world’s worst team!) and The Mister is for the Bears.  Normally it’s not such a big deal, because Detroit is so awful that it normally doesn’t matter…but this year they might actually be alright.  And I think the Bears have the potential to be a train wreck.

If the Lions win, can I gloat?  The problem is that The Mister can’t really gloat because Detroit is so bad…but if my team wins?  That’s struttin’ around material right there!

So stay tuned…I’ll wear my Lions blue to church today, I think.

 

Marriage advice from a business consultant? Read on! September 11, 2010

Filed under: Building a life,Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 12:33 pm
Tags: , ,

This is the continuation of the previous post based on an article comparing how similar marriages are to business partnerships called, 15 Steps for Successful Strategic Alliances (and Marriages)”. When I first read it, I was struck by how similar the two relationships are…obviously there are differences, but there are a lot of crossing points.  If we add a whole bunch of love to these business ideas, maybe our marriages will benefit.

Spread involvement. Create more ties for more people. I like this one, because a marriage isn’t just the two people…it’s our families and friends as well.  Back in the day, it really did take a village to nourish marriages and families…now we’re all so separated.  I wonder if that’s hurting marriages…especially newbie marriages.

Build organizational bridges — formal structures. She’s talking about reporting structures, but what if we built in formal “meeting” time with our hubby’s…where we could talk about how things are going?  So then it wouldn’t be a “we need to talk” uh-oh time, but a “we always talk” less stressful time.

Respect differences. “Alliances are most helpful when they involve differences — when partners give each other something they do not already have.”  How about that quotation?  <sarcasm> That’s a toughie for me since I’m always right and how could anyone have a different opinion…but maybe it’s helpful information for you people.  </sarcasm>

Teach partners. Learn from partners. This one comes from a place of respect.  Meaning you understand and value the knowledge that your partner has…and actually listen to them.  For me, this one has been pretty important.  The Mister is super knowledgeable about internet stuff (social media, internet marketing, personal branding, yada, yada, yada) and I’m not…so his know-how has been instrumental in my increasing my presence in my work industry.  I told him yesterday he’s on my Dream Team: folks instrumental to my goal of world domination.

Be prepared to change yourself. “Partners must be willing to be influenced by one another.  This can mean learning the other’s language and style or inventing a new one; changing to the other’s system or creating a joint one.”  Like I said on the other post, this lady could be a marriage counselor!

Help everyone win. My goal is for The Mister to think, “boy am I happy I married Dawn…she’s the greatest lady God ever made and I’m the luckiest man alive.”  I’d say that makes him a winner!  I know that I’m a winner because I think he’s one fantastic dude.

Get closer, change course, or exit gracefully. Yay to getting closer and changing course (when necessary), but boo to exiting gracefully.  I think we should expect to change and evolve over the course of our lives.  We just need to be sure we understand that changes will happen within each person…people evolve so relationships should as well.

So there are the 15 steps…what did you think about them?  Obviously some of them just don’t fit in the context of marriage, but I thought a lot of them did translate over.

 

Is marriage a “strategic alliance”? September 9, 2010

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 12:30 pm
Tags: , ,

I read a lot of business blogs, journals, and magazines for my job and came across an article that I wanted to share with you guys.  The author was comparing how similar marriages are to business partnerships and the article is called, 15 Steps for Successful Strategic Alliances (and Marriages)”. Now I certainly don’t agree with everything that she says, but it’s cool to see how the two “alliances” are similar.  I’m going to split her steps into two different posts so this one isn’t one giganto post…hope you like it!

Be open to romance, but court carefully. She talks about not being surprised when the bloom falls off of the flower.  Romance is great, but have realistic expectations of your spouse. “Hopes, dreams, and visions should be balanced by reality checks.”

Know yourself. Build your strengths. It’s not necessarily that opposites attract, but that complementary people attract.  Take The Mister & I for example.  He’s super good with people and he literally know everyone, while I’m not (as we’ve discussed here before) super awesome with meeting new people and whatnot…but I have fun when I’m in groups.  So we complement!  He invites people over.  I cook and play super hostess.  We both have a blast.

Seek compatibility in values. “There must be a foundation for mutual trust to help weather inevitable changes or problems.”  Wow…this lady could be a marriage counselor!

Treat the ‘extended family’ respectfully. She talks about “winning over” the extended fam…she may have a point here.  I guess I just figured everyone would love me!

Put the lawyers in their place. This from someone in business…lawyers have no place in a relationship.  Amen sister!

Vow to work together until business conditions do us part. This one doesn’t fit.  Note to The Mister:  you’re stuck with me until you die, dude.

But don’t count on the contract. Again I disagree.  I think you can count on the contract in regards to marriage.  The author here says that the contract can’t anticipate everything, but I think our vows do pretty much have it covered.  Love each other when things are awesome and when they’re not?…check! Don’t give up on each other or the marriage…check!  Sick or healthy?…check!

So keep communicating, face-to-face. “Matters are more easily sorted out when partners’ keep talking long after their initial deal-making.”  Good stuff right?  How many times have we heard of marriages falling apart because the people don’t talk and things get all twisted up between them?  Too many!

What do you guys think?  I know of lot of you are business ladies out there…does that sound right?  How are you faring so far?

 

Out of the closet September 7, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:40 am
Tags: , ,

*stepping up to microphone*  Okay folks.  It’s time that I come clean…and it’s not going to be pretty.  I, Dawn, *clearing throat* *heavy sigh* really like Lifetime movies.  There!  I said it!  And yes, I know that they are all variances on the same theme:

  • A high school girl has a huge crush on her hot teacher and when he doesn’t reciprocate, she goes super crazy.
  • An older married woman puts it on a younger man and when he tries to make it serious and she doesn’t want to, he goes super crazy.
  • A married man has an affair and when he won’t leave his wife, his mistress goes super crazy.
  • Sometimes they use younger folks as their subject (Young & Out of Control!…seriously, that was a theme one week); a young girl gets sick of getting teased and picked on and goes super crazy on her classmates.
  • Sometimes they use a holiday as a theme (like yesterday: Going Into Labor Day, all movies about ladies who are preggers).  I missed most of them yesterday because I had to work, but the one I saw?  Perfection!  A young couple falls in love, has a whirlwind romance, gets married too soon and then the woman finds out her hubby is super crazy and used her old boyfriend to impregnate her so that he could gain his inheritance.  Seriously…I am NOT making this up!

The common denominator?  Super crazy!  If there’s no craziness involved, then it’s not a Lifetime movie.  My name is Dawn and I’m here to say: long live Lifetime movies!

 

I’m it! September 4, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:02 am
Tags:
Miss Thing over at Frugalista Getting Married tagged me on these questions, so I figured I’d give it a shot.   Here we go!

1.  If you could have one wish granted what would it be? Unlimited wishes (of course) and then after that I’d wish for wisdom not to be a complete dummy with all of my wishes.

2.  Do people in your real life know about your blog or do you keep it to yourself? Most folks know about it…my fam and friends at least.  That made complaining about people during the wedding planning process a bit tricky.  That was probably good though, because it saved me wasting a lot of negative energy griping about stuff that isn’t even close to important.

3.  If you could change one part of your body or appearance what would it be? My eyeballs, lol!  They’re useless without glasses.  I’d love to know what it felt like to wake up in the morning and actually see.  The other day The Mister and I woke up and I had to ask him to hand me my glasses (which turned out to be right next to my foot) because they weren’t in the normal spot.  In fact, they were so close to me that he thought I was joking and starting kidding me about it, and I was like, “no seriously…where are they”?
4.  If you became a billionaire would you quit your current job? Sort of.  I’m a volleyball coach and I love it…so maybe I’d switch to being a volunteer assistant.  But I can’t imagine not coaching.
5.  What do you like best about your body or appearance? I like that I’m tallish (5’9″) and have long legs.  Squats work wonders ladies!
6.  What is something that people might be surprised to know about you? I played the cello from 1st through 12th grades and was really quite good.  I still love classical music!

7.  If you were forced to give up one of your 5 senses which one would it be? Smell.  Don’t really have a good reason except it seems the least life changing.
8.  If you could have any superhuman power what would it be? To be able to tell when people are lying to me.  I generally believe what people say to me…which has gotten me into trouble in the past.
Alright y’all…hit me in the comments with your answers to those questions!
 

Now I get it September 2, 2010

Filed under: Building a life,Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:30 am
Tags: , ,

I used to read articles in magazines about wives who said that the sexiest thing that their hubby could do would be to help around the house and I’d think…and that’s why I’m not married, lol!!  I would think, how on Earth is cleaning sexy…or even cute for that matter?

But now I get it.  When I get home from a long twelve or thirteen hour day at the office and The Mister has vacuumed or done the laundry, I just wish he was wearing those breakaway pants (like the basketball guys wear) so that we could get down to business right there!  I understand that it’s not about the cleaning, but the meaning behind it.  He’s cleaning because he knows that it’s important to me and that I value a clean house.  He’s putting my feelings first and I appreciate him for that!  There’s something to knowing that there’s another person in this world who’s got your back and wants to be there for you.  It’s pretty awesome, I’m not gonna lie.

I already know what I’m getting The Mister for Christmas:  breakaway pants!!