The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Is marriage a “strategic alliance”? September 9, 2010

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 12:30 pm
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I read a lot of business blogs, journals, and magazines for my job and came across an article that I wanted to share with you guys.  The author was comparing how similar marriages are to business partnerships and the article is called, 15 Steps for Successful Strategic Alliances (and Marriages)”. Now I certainly don’t agree with everything that she says, but it’s cool to see how the two “alliances” are similar.  I’m going to split her steps into two different posts so this one isn’t one giganto post…hope you like it!

Be open to romance, but court carefully. She talks about not being surprised when the bloom falls off of the flower.  Romance is great, but have realistic expectations of your spouse. “Hopes, dreams, and visions should be balanced by reality checks.”

Know yourself. Build your strengths. It’s not necessarily that opposites attract, but that complementary people attract.  Take The Mister & I for example.  He’s super good with people and he literally know everyone, while I’m not (as we’ve discussed here before) super awesome with meeting new people and whatnot…but I have fun when I’m in groups.  So we complement!  He invites people over.  I cook and play super hostess.  We both have a blast.

Seek compatibility in values. “There must be a foundation for mutual trust to help weather inevitable changes or problems.”  Wow…this lady could be a marriage counselor!

Treat the ‘extended family’ respectfully. She talks about “winning over” the extended fam…she may have a point here.  I guess I just figured everyone would love me!

Put the lawyers in their place. This from someone in business…lawyers have no place in a relationship.  Amen sister!

Vow to work together until business conditions do us part. This one doesn’t fit.  Note to The Mister:  you’re stuck with me until you die, dude.

But don’t count on the contract. Again I disagree.  I think you can count on the contract in regards to marriage.  The author here says that the contract can’t anticipate everything, but I think our vows do pretty much have it covered.  Love each other when things are awesome and when they’re not?…check! Don’t give up on each other or the marriage…check!  Sick or healthy?…check!

So keep communicating, face-to-face. “Matters are more easily sorted out when partners’ keep talking long after their initial deal-making.”  Good stuff right?  How many times have we heard of marriages falling apart because the people don’t talk and things get all twisted up between them?  Too many!

What do you guys think?  I know of lot of you are business ladies out there…does that sound right?  How are you faring so far?

 

Out of the closet September 7, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:40 am
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*stepping up to microphone*  Okay folks.  It’s time that I come clean…and it’s not going to be pretty.  I, Dawn, *clearing throat* *heavy sigh* really like Lifetime movies.  There!  I said it!  And yes, I know that they are all variances on the same theme:

  • A high school girl has a huge crush on her hot teacher and when he doesn’t reciprocate, she goes super crazy.
  • An older married woman puts it on a younger man and when he tries to make it serious and she doesn’t want to, he goes super crazy.
  • A married man has an affair and when he won’t leave his wife, his mistress goes super crazy.
  • Sometimes they use younger folks as their subject (Young & Out of Control!…seriously, that was a theme one week); a young girl gets sick of getting teased and picked on and goes super crazy on her classmates.
  • Sometimes they use a holiday as a theme (like yesterday: Going Into Labor Day, all movies about ladies who are preggers).  I missed most of them yesterday because I had to work, but the one I saw?  Perfection!  A young couple falls in love, has a whirlwind romance, gets married too soon and then the woman finds out her hubby is super crazy and used her old boyfriend to impregnate her so that he could gain his inheritance.  Seriously…I am NOT making this up!

The common denominator?  Super crazy!  If there’s no craziness involved, then it’s not a Lifetime movie.  My name is Dawn and I’m here to say: long live Lifetime movies!

 

I’m it! September 4, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:02 am
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Miss Thing over at Frugalista Getting Married tagged me on these questions, so I figured I’d give it a shot.   Here we go!

1.  If you could have one wish granted what would it be? Unlimited wishes (of course) and then after that I’d wish for wisdom not to be a complete dummy with all of my wishes.

2.  Do people in your real life know about your blog or do you keep it to yourself? Most folks know about it…my fam and friends at least.  That made complaining about people during the wedding planning process a bit tricky.  That was probably good though, because it saved me wasting a lot of negative energy griping about stuff that isn’t even close to important.

3.  If you could change one part of your body or appearance what would it be? My eyeballs, lol!  They’re useless without glasses.  I’d love to know what it felt like to wake up in the morning and actually see.  The other day The Mister and I woke up and I had to ask him to hand me my glasses (which turned out to be right next to my foot) because they weren’t in the normal spot.  In fact, they were so close to me that he thought I was joking and starting kidding me about it, and I was like, “no seriously…where are they”?
4.  If you became a billionaire would you quit your current job? Sort of.  I’m a volleyball coach and I love it…so maybe I’d switch to being a volunteer assistant.  But I can’t imagine not coaching.
5.  What do you like best about your body or appearance? I like that I’m tallish (5’9″) and have long legs.  Squats work wonders ladies!
6.  What is something that people might be surprised to know about you? I played the cello from 1st through 12th grades and was really quite good.  I still love classical music!

7.  If you were forced to give up one of your 5 senses which one would it be? Smell.  Don’t really have a good reason except it seems the least life changing.
8.  If you could have any superhuman power what would it be? To be able to tell when people are lying to me.  I generally believe what people say to me…which has gotten me into trouble in the past.
Alright y’all…hit me in the comments with your answers to those questions!
 

Now I get it September 2, 2010

Filed under: Building a life,Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:30 am
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I used to read articles in magazines about wives who said that the sexiest thing that their hubby could do would be to help around the house and I’d think…and that’s why I’m not married, lol!!  I would think, how on Earth is cleaning sexy…or even cute for that matter?

But now I get it.  When I get home from a long twelve or thirteen hour day at the office and The Mister has vacuumed or done the laundry, I just wish he was wearing those breakaway pants (like the basketball guys wear) so that we could get down to business right there!  I understand that it’s not about the cleaning, but the meaning behind it.  He’s cleaning because he knows that it’s important to me and that I value a clean house.  He’s putting my feelings first and I appreciate him for that!  There’s something to knowing that there’s another person in this world who’s got your back and wants to be there for you.  It’s pretty awesome, I’m not gonna lie.

I already know what I’m getting The Mister for Christmas:  breakaway pants!!