The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

The Royal Wedding November 30, 2010

Filed under: Advice — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:43 pm
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I’ll admit to not knowing if the wedding blog world is all atwitter with news of the royal wedding…I just assume it is.  In all honesty, I stopped looking at wedding planning blogs after our big day.  More power to you if you’re one of those ladies who decided to create a business around the wedding industry…I was over it by the time our day came and went.  I can’t imagine the singular obsession over small details that is about to take place…it will be surreal, for sure!

There’s actually a William & Kate wedding tracking website…that was started back in 2008!  Omg, what did those people talk about for two years?!  So you can only imagine how it will be now that there’s an actual wedding to talk about!!

I don’t talk about all of this to add to the noise, but to say: imagine being Kate.  Let’s do a rundown:

  • You’re marrying into royalty.
  • Your future hubbie’s parents had the wedding of all wedding that captivated the whole world!
  • Every detail will be scrutinized…from the food choices to the colors to the favors.
  • People will look to every thing you do…many of the things you do will be mimicked by brides across the globe.

There’s probably so much more.  But ladies, think back to your planning.  About all the snide comments that you had to shake off, the worries you had about your weight, your makeup, all of it.  I know we all want to say how awful the WIC is for making us feel crappy about the way we look and the things we do…but in this case, how could she not feel pressure?!  What a weight to carry!

So what would you do?  Would you even have said yes to the prince?  How would you handle the expectations of an entire country and the interest of the entire world?  How would you stay sane in this situation?

 

FYI: It’s December Next Week! November 27, 2010

Filed under: Holidays,Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:24 am
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Eek…is anyone else freaking out that December starts on Wednesday?!  Where did the year go?  It’s been a pretty good year for me though:  got married this summer (6 months tomorrow…Woot! Woot!!), got published a couple of times in work related periodicals, and had tremendous success with my team on the work side of the world.  But now it’s time to think about the holidays and I’ve got three questions for you:

  1. How are you and your honey handling gifts?:  Last year we didn’t have to worry about it, because we weren’t married yet, but now I suppose we’ve got to come up with a plan so that we’re not shopping all willy nilly.  Are you guys going to set a price limit to what you’ll spend?  How will you decide on how much to spend on each family member?  Like, if I spend $100 on my mom…should he spend the same on his?  FYI: I’m miserly.
  2. Online or in-store?:  I’m an online shopper myself.  I can do without the crowds and pushing and shoving.  Plus, I feel like the deals are just as good online as in-store.  What’s your preference?
  3. How will you divvy up your holiday time?:  This year is going to be a bit different because we won’t be able to fly down to see my fam for Christmas…this is literally the first time in a decade that we won’t be together during that time.  (Unless I can convince The Mister to drive down there…tall order, though.)  How do you guys decide how to split time with the fam?

I can’t wait to hear how you guys tackle these situations…hit me up in the comments!

 

My obligatory “what I’m thankful for” post November 25, 2010

Filed under: Building a life,Holidays — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:37 am
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Well, since it’s Turkey Day…or more aptly titled “Thanksgiving Day”, I figured I’d take the time out to talk about some of the things that I’m thankful for on this holiday.

5 things I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving 2010

  • My family:  We’re spread out all over the country, so it’s really nice to be able to get together with them during the holidays.  When I lived in Texas, I was able to see them quite often and now that I’m gone…it’s only occasionally, which makes me sad.
  • The Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class The Mister and I are taking:  It’s been an amazing way to start our marriage.  We all know the stats for deal breakers in marriage…and financial argument/differences/problems lead the list.  It’s been great to know that we’re operating from the same starting point in terms of how we’ll deal with budgeting and spending.  I highly recommend this class!  He’s got a book too.
  • No debt from our wedding & honeymoon:  Along those same financial lines, the wedding depleted our savings…but at least it’s paid for.  And for that I’m very grateful!  I have to remind myself of that every time I get grumpy about the numbers I see in our savings account.  I’m thankful that we were able to have an amazing wedding and honeymoon on our terms.
  • My brother wants our wedding photo book!:  A lot of times, I looked at a lot of the expenses from wedding planning as a waste.  Well, not exactly a waste, because I definitely valued the food, and the dress, and the flowers, and everything else that we spent money on.  But sometimes it’s like, “no one else cares about all of those things I obsessed over”.  Then yesterday, my brother looked at our wedding book again and asked for one!  Someone else appreciates something that we did for our wedding…yippee!  A smell a Christmas gift in the works.
  • The Mister:  Clearly a good decision on my part.  He’s pretty awesome (and cute too!).

What are you thankful for this holiday?  Hit me up in the comments.

 

MIA November 23, 2010

Filed under: Question/Poll — Happy Nappy Bride @ 12:17 pm
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Let’s take it back for a moment ladies…to the time when we were single.  Remember when you’d see a cutie and think, “I wonder if ole boy is married?” while stealing glances at his left hand and praying for nothing shiny to be there.  Now bring it forward and let me ask you a question:

How would you feel if your husband didn’t wear his wedding band?

I’m not talking about in the case where his job just doesn’t allow for it…like he works with his hands and would put himself in danger by wearing a wedding band.  I’m talking about the guy who just doesn’t want to wear it…who says that he’s not used to wearing jewelry or whatever.  What do you think about that?

Whenever I see a guy not wearing his ring, I always wonder what’s up with that?  Did he just forget?  Does he “forget” often?  Is he shady and trying to see if something could go down?  Does he like female attention even though he won’t do anything about it?  What do you think about it?

 

Fusion…and I’m not talking food November 18, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 4:28 pm
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“You complete me?  I don’t think so playa!”

I can’t wait to hear what you guys think of this statement!  I don’t want to jade you toward my way of thinking, but I was shocked when I read this article on Simple Marriage titled, “The biggest marriage killer” (this is just an excerpt, you can click that link to read the whole thing):

“When you first met your spouse, ideally you were both living interesting and fulfilling lives. These lives were an important part of what made you attractive to each other. But often, as your relationship progresses with each other, you let go of what used to be important and fulfilling to you for the sake of the relationship.

When this happens it creates two problems.

  1. You are each no longer the person the other was originally attracted to.
  2. As each of you give up important things in your life, you often expect the other person to fill the void. This is a heavy burden to place on any one person. It creates neediness and dependency, as well as resentment and boredom.

One of the biggest killers of passion in marriage is all the meaningless time spouses spend together. And it is actually this type of tensionless coexistence that defines most marriages today.

You need to live an interesting, fulfilling life beyond your intimate relationship.

Marriage should be two mature people who take responsibility for getting their own needs met both with each other and from numerous other sources.

While I firmly believe you should keep all of your sexual energy within the marriage, I also believe you should keep doing all of the interesting things you were doing before you met your spouse (or enjoy doing without your spouse).

Great marriages are the result of two mature, grown up people – both of whom have full, satisfying lives – cooperating with each other to get their needs met. In this kind of differentiated relationship, each spouse compliments the other, but doesn’t complete them.”

I loved reading this, because I always felt badly for being an independent married lady…like that was somehow a paradox or something.  I had my stuff when I met The Mister and I still have my stuff.  Now don’t mistake this for me playing the hard role, I still get geeked like a little puppy when I hear his key in the door (my baby’s home! my baby’s home!), but we’re both good doing our stuff.  Then we come home and we’re together and enjoy each others company.  I wanted a husband and not a homegirl or roommate…can I get an amen?!

 

Gobble, gobble November 16, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:30 am

FYI: Not my family.

 

Just got finished chatting with The Mister and his fam is coming over for Thanksgiving dinner (then we’ll get up at the crack of dawn on Friday and go to my fam’s house for a Thanksgiving brunch…my mom’s way of making it okay that we’re missing the actual Thanksgiving dinner…I digress, sorry) and I’m stoked!  I love an opportunity to cook…fun, fun, fun!

It’ll be a small gathering, so it shouldn’t require too much effort but since it’s the holiday, I checked to see what my girl Martha had to say about Thanksgiving menus.  And as should be expected, she is a woman after my OCD planning heart!  Click here to see what I’m talking about.

  • If you think that Martha doesn’t detail exactly what you should make, you’d be wrong.
  • If you think that Martha doesn’t suggest that you start looking for Turkeys in early November…again, you’d be wrong.
  • If you think that my heart didn’t sing when I read her breakdown of what to do one week before, 4-5 days before, and so on and so forth before Turkey Day…you guessed it, you’d be wrong.
  • If you think that my girl Martha didn’t give you an hour by hour breakdown of exactly what needs to happen that day…playa, you’d be wrong.

If there’s a world without Martha, I don’t wanna live in it!  That woman is stone crazy for the amount of detail she puts into planning an event…and I love her for it!

 

Grammar 101 November 14, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Happy Nappy Bride @ 7:00 pm
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Pajama pants.

That phrase seems to be so confusing to people, so let me break it down.  “Pants” is the noun of the phrase…the main subject.  While “pajama” is the adjective, giving more meaning to its noun…pants.  Much like a ball gown is to be worn at balls and a baseball uniform is to be worn at baseball games…pajama pants are to be worn to bed.

So why (why????) are so many people wearing them out and about?

Is the fact that the word “pants” is in the phrase throwing people off?  If you’re not a small child who’s parent dragged out of bed to go shopping or a hungover college student…then you know better than to wear pajamas outside of the house.  I just don’t think putting on a pair of jeans is that much effort and it completely raises the comfort level of those strangers around you…am I the only one put off by seeing strangers in their pajamas?

Let’s do better people!  Who’s with me?!