The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Jail time for looking at spouse’s email? December 30, 2010

Filed under: Home life,Uncategorized — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:29 am
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Have y’all heard about this dude who is facing five years in prison for looking at his wife’s email?  It’s kinda crazy!

Here are the facts:

  • I mean, they’re married.
  • He had her password.  (She says she didn’t give it to him)
  • It happened on a shared computer.  (She says it wasn’t)
  • She was cheating on him…with her ex-husband!
  • The ex-hubs was abusive and new hubs was worried for his kids’ safety.
  • Hubs was an IT guy who knows his way around a computer.

What do you think?

 

Grace Under Fire: The Wife Edition December 29, 2010

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 1:31 pm
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(I searched Google images for “grace” and “graceful” and this pic is the best I could come up with.)

I told you guys that I had a business trip last week and about the silly stuff that I saw while waiting for the plane.  Well, the trip back was no different!

First of all, there was the TSA guy who put my bag through the machine twice and did a physical search of it three times (before I yelled at him that “that’s my personal stuff and I don’t want everyone looking at it!”) only to find that the offending object was a stack of business cards.  Seriously?!!  *sigh*   I’m pretty sure that I had steam coming out of my ears.

But before that, I saw the epitome of a graceful wife.  It was amazing!  I only noticed the couple because I was trying to get my boarding pass and the kiosk was shaking because some man was pounding away at his across from me.  I looked at him like he had two heads on his neck, but his wife remained calm.  Then he started cussing a BLUE STREAK!  And not the polite curses either, lol!  And his wife remained quiet and calm and seemingly unperturbed.  It was incredible…such grace!  So I took some lessons from this lady on how to remain graceful under fire with The Mister.  Here’s what I learned:

3 things required to deal with a testy hubs

  1. She remained calm. The husband went from 0 to 60 really quickly.  One minute, he was trying to get boarding passes, the next he was shaking the kiosk and throwing F-bombs around.  She let him get his anger out without interrupting or trying to stop him.
  2. She removed him from the situation. While he was spouting off about having to go through the line and blah, blah, blah; the wife wordlessly took their confirmation info from the husband.  When he was spewing venom while waiting in line, she tapped away at the kiosk and got the boarding passes.She didn’t match his anger with her own at his making an *ss of himself in public.
  3. She didn’t say a word about it. Now this is what I was really looking for…the wife triumphantly declaring how awesome she was and how silly he was for getting so upset.  But she never did it.  She never gloated about how easy the kiosk was or how he got all upset for nothing or how he embarrassed her…she could have, because it was all true!  She remained calm and quiet and the husband started a convo on a totally different topic and they were fine.

Oh to be an experienced married lady…one day I’ll be as cool, calm, and collected as that lady was.  Dare to dream!  Have you guys seen any examples of a married lady with more time in who you’ve looked up to?  What was the situation?

 

S.O.S.! New Year’s Eve emergency December 27, 2010

Filed under: Date Nights — Happy Nappy Bride @ 7:18 pm
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Okay y’all, The Mister and I are hitting the town for New Year’s Eve and I have an outfit that I wanna wear, but I need accessories…stat!  I originally bought this dress for our rehearsal dinner, but then thought it would be too fancy.  So I didn’t buy stuff that would work for winter.  That’s where you come in.

Here’s the dress, from Anthropologie…fits great!  It hits about 2 or 3 inches above the knee…fitted bodice, almost bubble skirt-y on the bottom.:

And the sweater (from Ann Taylor Loft…originally for a work outfit) I have to wear with it because it’s going to be winter in Chicago!!:

So what kind of tights and shoes can I wear with this?

I like these…would they work?  Or would that be too much grey?  The dress is a metallic silver and cream. Should I go with a colored shoe?  Sparkly?  Help!!

 

Merry Christmas! December 25, 2010

Filed under: Holidays — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:42 pm
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Hope everyone had a holly, jolly Christmas!!

 

Christmas shopping for the younguns December 21, 2010

Filed under: Holidays — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:32 pm
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You’re probably wondering why I have pics of half naked dudes on my blog (I know The Mister is, lol!) and it’s because my niece and nephew wanted stuff from Abercrombie & Fitch.  Have you been there lately?  Oh  my goodness…it’s like an assault on all of your senses!

The music is so loud it makes your eyes squint.  And the air is saturated with cologne so that makes your nose scrunch up.  There are pictures of scantily clad young people everywhere…making you feel like a pedofile.  What the eff?  So all old fogies like myself are walking around in a deafened daze wondering who prefers to shop in this atmosphere. Seriously, who???

I know you’re thinking, “people much younger than you!”, and you’re probably right.  Anyhoo, after I screamed at the sales dudes, “I’D LIKE TO BUY TWO GIFTS CARDS PLEASE”, I scooted out of there as soon as I could.

Have you had this sort of other-worldly experience while doing your Christmas shopping?

 

Reading list December 19, 2010

Filed under: Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:53 am
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I found a nice article over at Happily Married After called, “Marriage is a book: Not a chapter, page, or paragraph” and thought that he made a lot of nice points.  See what you think:

Thea and I had a challenging first year of marriage, as many newly married couples do. If we were to consider that those first few ‘pages’ of our marriage was indicative of the whole, we would have shut the book and returned it to the library. But we did not. And now by the end of the first chapter of our marriage – our marriage is much, much, much better. And we are so glad that we did not get caught up on page one.

Your marriage is a book. A whole wonderful story. Don’t get caught up on a letter, a word, a sentence, a paragraph, a page, or a chapter. Let the whole story play out. The best part is that we, with our hard work and effort, can write the story of our marriage in any way we’d like. And know this as well, our inattention and indifference to our marriage let’s outside influences write the story. And that’s when we sit and think that we don’t like the plot and try to exchange it for another book. It’s not necessary. You are the author and your story can be a good one. Finish the book.

As y’all know, I coach for a living and “finish” is a word we use a lot…I’d never thought of it in terms of a relationship.  What did you guys think of the article?  I loved it, because I am prone to being a tad emotional (Like, oh my gosh this is the worst thing ever…my life as we know it is gonna end!  Then the next day, oh my gosh, my life is awesome…it’s just great being me!) and blowing things out of proportion.

What do y’all think chicas?

 

So…are you and hubs thinking about getting preggers? December 18, 2010

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:21 am
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Okay ladies, I know we’ve all heard the questions a million times…and it’s annoying.  But, I know a lot of us do want to add onto our little mini families.  I’m going to keep it real, I’ve got baby fever (and this’ll probably be the last time you hear that from me because it’s so cliche…okay, let’s continue) and I’ve been poking around the interwebs and have found some info.  There’s probably more you can do, but I’m sure you can’t go wrong if you follow these…

6 things to do if you’re planning on getting pregnant*

  1. Timing:  This article I linked above says that you’ve got to clean up your diet for three months to a year.  That’s a long time…it surprised me.
  2. Weight: Being overweight isn’t ideal and they advise weight loss.  But also, they say that extreme weight loss (like, say,for a wedding…sound familiar anyone?) “from crash dieting can deplete your body’s nutritional stores, which isn’t a good way to start a pregnancy.”
  3. Nutrition:  Lots of fruits and veggies, not a lot of white foods (sugar, rice, potatoes, etc.), lean meats, fish and dairy…easy on the red meat.  I also read somewhere that letting yourself get too hungry is bad also…something about some hunger hormone that’s released that blocks another preggo hormone.
  4. Vitamins. Take your prenatals.  Folic acid is supposed to ward off birth defects…which is important for us over-30’s!
  5. Alcohol.  Here’s their advice:  “cut out or only occasionally drink alcohol.”  Bummer, I know.
  6. Caffeine. The biggest bummer of them all…no coffee.  Too much caffeine apparently could result in low birth weight or miscarriage.  Eek!

Oddly enough, I found this info because I’ve got some tummy issues that have seriously forced me to change my diet…then I found out that pregnancy requires a similar diet.  Two birds with one stone.  Okay, this is our first and last chat about babies.  Any other advice?  Ladies who’ve got kiddos, did the article leave anything out?

*I’m not pregnant.

 

Traveling woman: musings from the airport December 17, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Happy Nappy Bride @ 7:39 am
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I’m on day two of a four day business trip right now.  It’s a convention-type trip with lots of classes available to take…and yes, I’m one of those nerdy types that goes to all of the classes that I can!  But this post isn’t about the classes, it’s about my time at the airport…it’s always a trip.

**Six things I saw or heard at the airport yesterday**

  • From an engaged couple waiting to get on the plane:  After the woman gave a When Harry Met Sally-type request for something to drink to her fiancé, he comes back and they get to talking.  I don’t know what all was said, but I did hear the woman say, “I own you…that’s what this means”, while she flashed her ring around.  Really?  Wow.  I’m sure he secretly wanted to rip that ring off and go sprinting down the airport hallway and right out the door.
  • TSA guy: after having to do the creepy body scan thing (ick), one of my bags got selected for a check.  After pulling out all of the things that were in there, the TSA guy told me I had a well-packed bag.  Do you know how many bags those dudes must see?!  BOOM!  If I ever need a career change, I’m positive I could be a professional organizer.
  • Optically challenged lady: I’m admittedly blind without my glasses…it’s actually a bit embarrassing how little I can see without them.  I don’t think, though, that I’m quite as bad as this chick trying to work on her laptop.  She was hunched over, laptop held at eye-level with one hand, typing with the other…and it was literally three inches from her face.  Like, picture the laptop open and her chin directly above the space key and you’ll know what I’m talking about.  You can make the font bigger lady!
  • Incredible expanding bag: in more “well-packed bag” news, I got clothes for 4 days and 3 nights (business cas during the day, jeans and relaxing clothes at night) into one carry on!  And let’s not even talk about my plethora of snacks.  Woo hoo!
  • Vera Bradley bags: don’t sleep on Vera!  I’ve got a tote bag (the one that the TSA dude went through) and it holds tons of stuff.  There are lots of pockets and they’re well made, so I never worry about how heavy it is.  Plus I’m not the only one…lots of ladies were carrying them around.
  • Bonus: this one isn’t in the airport, but is there anything better than the realization that your flight isn’t full???  Oh em gee, when I realized that I had the whole row to myself, I almost jumped up and clicked my heels together.

Anyhoo, that was my airport experience…do y’all know what I mean?

 

Degree? M.R.S. please! December 14, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 1:49 pm
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I found this interesting article talking about young ladies who want to marry rich for a life of luxury.  You can click here to read the whole article, but here’s a few snippets:

“Yes — feminists look away now — most of the girls I talked to are intent on marrying a rich man.

This idea is buoyed by a culture of celebrity that sees attractive women marrying well and then enjoying ­luxurious lifestyles as a result. ­Because of this, matrimony is ­increasingly viewed as an alternative career choice for the ambitious younger generation.

‘I’m going to train as a pharmacist, work for a couple of years and then marry a rich man,’ Lilly announces in a matter-of-fact manner.

Her friend Amy also has it all mapped out: ‘I’m going to be a graphic designer — but when I have children, I’ll give up work. I’m going to marry someone with a really good job.’ Her friends nod in agreement.”

“Last year, Jill Berry, the then president of The Girls’ Schools Association, publicly said what many of us women in our late 30s and early 40s have come to realise.

She said that combining a high-powered career and motherhood and doing both well is impossible. It’s time we stopped feeding girls the fairy tale that they can do it all — and I agree.

But, more than that, I think most women — if given a truly free choice — would choose to stay at home and look after their children in their infancy.”

What do you think?

 

 

Shameful thievery December 12, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 6:32 pm
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Once again, I was over at Simple Marriage’s blog and saw an article that’s critical to any relationship…whether it be a parent-child, spouse to spouse, or friendship.  The title was 5 Steps To A Genuine Apology and you can click on the title to get to the actual article.

I’m sure we’ve all been victims of the non-apology apology:  “I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt.”  Huh???  “I’m sorry that you misunderstood what I meant.”  Wha???  “I’m sorry I kissed your boyfriend but I thought you were out of town.”  Hmmmpft!  The good part about this list is that there’s no space for defending your offensive actions.  You can’t apologize AND say “but this is why I did it”.  They don’t care why you did it silly, just apologize and keep it movin’!

Anyhoo, I’m sniping the five things to post up over here and would love to hear from you in the comments!

  1. Describe the event (WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE)
  2. Yesterday when we were in the car (where), you (who) were telling me how you handled a situation at work (what) . . .

  3. Tell what you did and describe the action
  4. . . . and I said, in a sarcastic manner (how I acted) that I thought the way you handled the situation was stupid (what I did). I want you to know that I was rude to use such a harsh word as stupid. It was judgmental of me to think that I knew better how to handle that situation at your work. I think that speaking to you in a sarcastic manner was disrespectful and contemptuous and not the way I want to treat you.

  5. Acknowledge the damage done
  6. I know that it hurt you for me to label your actions as stupid and to speak to you in a sarcastic manner. I know that my thoughtless words reflected a lack of confidence in your abilities and my sarcastic tone was unkind and necessary.

  7. Tell what you wish you had done instead
  8. I wish that I had been more thoughtful and kind and chosen my words more carefully. I wish I had talked about the many school situations you have handled successfully.

  9. Tell what you PLAN to do differently the next time.
  10. The next time you are telling me about something that happens at work, I plan to listen better, ask more questions, and choose my words carefully. I plan to focus on my knowledge of your strengths. And I commit to you my intent to speak to you in a manner that reflects how much I care for you and about our relationship.