The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Not a paid post…just a good find March 15, 2011

Filed under: Advice — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:50 am
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Hola ladies!  I just found this great site called Fiverr.com, where you can buy services for $5.  I wish I would have known about this site back when I was planning our wedding, I would’ve been all over that!

How about this for a Save The Date with you and your honey’s name on it? It’s only five bucks!  Seller: comfy

Or what about those folks who want logos made up for invitations and whatnot?  How about this one?  Seller: pahome

How about your honeymoon?  You’ve booked it, researched it, and are fired up about going!  What if you could contact someone where you’re going and get the inside scoop on the haps in that city.  Well, you can at Fiverr!  This seller (donnak) will give you a customized itinerary of all the best secret spots of Sonoma County wine for $5.

And for you entrepreneurial bride-to-bes out there, you can sell space/write ups/ads on your website like seller heavenstorm does…she’ll put up a link on her site for five bucks.

Now, I haven’t used this site or bought anything, but it seems like a great idea!  I’m sure like any site that has an aggregate of sellers, some are better than others.  Considering the cost of putting together a wedding, this may be a smart way to go for some things.

I’m actually planning on using them for some design stuff for things I’ve got going on at work.  What’s the worst that could happen?  I’m out $5…worth a try, in my opinion!

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The Royal Wedding November 30, 2010

Filed under: Advice — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:43 pm
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I’ll admit to not knowing if the wedding blog world is all atwitter with news of the royal wedding…I just assume it is.  In all honesty, I stopped looking at wedding planning blogs after our big day.  More power to you if you’re one of those ladies who decided to create a business around the wedding industry…I was over it by the time our day came and went.  I can’t imagine the singular obsession over small details that is about to take place…it will be surreal, for sure!

There’s actually a William & Kate wedding tracking website…that was started back in 2008!  Omg, what did those people talk about for two years?!  So you can only imagine how it will be now that there’s an actual wedding to talk about!!

I don’t talk about all of this to add to the noise, but to say: imagine being Kate.  Let’s do a rundown:

  • You’re marrying into royalty.
  • Your future hubbie’s parents had the wedding of all wedding that captivated the whole world!
  • Every detail will be scrutinized…from the food choices to the colors to the favors.
  • People will look to every thing you do…many of the things you do will be mimicked by brides across the globe.

There’s probably so much more.  But ladies, think back to your planning.  About all the snide comments that you had to shake off, the worries you had about your weight, your makeup, all of it.  I know we all want to say how awful the WIC is for making us feel crappy about the way we look and the things we do…but in this case, how could she not feel pressure?!  What a weight to carry!

So what would you do?  Would you even have said yes to the prince?  How would you handle the expectations of an entire country and the interest of the entire world?  How would you stay sane in this situation?

 

slip & slide November 4, 2010

Filed under: Advice — Happy Nappy Bride @ 7:04 pm
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Those are our rings and in May of 2010, they fit great.  Now…not so much!  The problem with summer weddings in the north is that we have to wear those same rings in the winter…and our fingers shrink due to the cold.

I was putting on my clothes the other day and my ring went flying off.  The Mister is afraid to wear his to work because it’s super loose.  *sigh*

Has anyone else had this problem?  What did you do?

 

Do you really want to be married? October 17, 2010

Filed under: Advice — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:04 pm
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It’s sometimes what I think when I hear some of my friends loooong list of demands desires in a mate.  A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I thought it was too funny…it’s called Black Marriage Negotiations!  They’re literally at the board room table hashing it out!  But, and maybe I’m wrong, I don’t think that this type of attitude is solely in the Black community.  I’ve got plenty of friends who aren’t Black with their hands on their collective hips talking about what they want in a man.

Anyhoo, I’m not saying ladies need to pick up dude from off of the exit ramp holding up his cardboard sign…but there’s a lot of good men out there.  And remember, in order to demand perfection…you’ve got to be perfect yourself.

Here’s the video…hit me up in the comments with what you think.

 

Are you keeping it up? September 14, 2010

Filed under: Advice — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:04 am
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Back in the pre-wedding days, I wrote about my wedding workout and trying to whip myself into shape for the big day…you can read about it here.  I’ll admit to not keeping up with it, I can honestly say that I haven’t been to the gym since May!  I need to figure out how to get it in though, because my work hours are so crazy that a little exercise would do my brain good.

Looking back, are you happy with your wedding weight?  Were you too skinny?  Too big?  Or just right?  What advice would you give to ladies getting ready to get married about their weight?

When I look back, I’m happy with what I did because I didn’t focus on getting thin (though that did need to happen in order for me to fit into my dress), but strong.  I’ve always loved the way muscles look on me and that feeling of being strong.  So why haven’t I kept it up, you ask?  Because I never do, lol!  I put together lifting plans in twelve week increments…do a couple of those, take the summer off, and just walk on the treadmill during my season and that takes care of the year.  So really all I’ve skipped is my treadmill walks…but those help me sort through whatever work issues I’m having and I enjoy the time by myself.  I need to figure out how to get it in.

If you could talk to ladies who are about to seal the deal about working out and wedding weight, what would you say?  Besides the fact that it’s physically impossible for a bride not to be radiant…what advice do you have?

 

bossy July 23, 2010

Filed under: Advice,Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 1:29 pm
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So, I’m bossy.  And nine times out of ten my personality works very well for me.  I get it done on my job, I’m organized at home, and can plan a meal for 10-15 folks lickity split.  Why?  ‘Cause I’m a boss.  (Thanks Kelis.)  I don’t want to be the boss of The Mister though.  We went to a dinner a while ago and saw a lady straight up treating her husband, who happened to be a grown *ss man, like a two-year old.  Telling him what to do, how to eat, talking over him if he deigned to have something to add to the conversation.  It was very uncomfortable, let me tell ya.  Homegirl actually yelled at him when he didn’t do what she asked.  Yelled at him.  In front of people.  O.  M.  G.

This book actually has a checklist in the first chapter to find out if you’re really strong-willed or not.  I was reading it while The Mister was doing something else and just started laughing.  Out of 40 markers, I checked 38 of them.  He looked at me like he wasn’t surprised when I told him that fun fact.  I’ll just pick out a random five for you to look at:

  • I like to be the person in charge.  (Clearly.)
  • I have strong opinions and convictions and like to share them.  (Ummm…have you read this blog?)
  • I can’t seem to back down in an argument even when I know I should. (Guilty as charged.)
  • I believe I shouldn’t have to repeat myself. (For real!)
  • I hate to ask for help. (With a passion.)

The writer, who’s a SWW (strong-willed wife) herself, has lots of good things to say about us bossy ladies and here’s one of my faves:  we are born leaders with firm convictions and are willing to go to  just about any length to make our dreams a reality.  We are dynamic, charismatic, confident, outspoken, and independent.  We are passionate about what we believe to be true and love an opportunity to share what we think with other. Holla!  That sounds good, right?  But in a marriage/family construct, if we SWW’s let our stuff get out of control, this could happen:

  • “Motivation” turns into just being “Pushy”
  • A “Problem Solver” turns into a “Busybody”
  • Our being “Opinionated” turns into being “Argumentative”
  • “Independence” could turn to “Overly Self-reliant”
  • “Determined” could change us to “Stubborn”

Ouch.  I’m all of those first things at work…and I’m killing it.  They love me there.  But work isn’t home and I’d doubt that any of us would want to live with a person who is pushy and argumentative and stubborn.  And we certainly don’t want to be that person.

This book is churchy and talks about how the Bible says marriage should look, so if that’s off-putting to you, don’t buy it.  But I’d strongly recommend you read it.  I hear a lot of bossy ladies say that they’re always exhausted because they feel like they’re doing everything themselves (which was on the checklist, by the way)…but you’ve got a hubby who’d love to help, so let him.  Anyhoo, this book doesn’t say that being a SWW is bad.  As a matter of fact, it says that it’s how God made us and why our hubbies fell in love with us…we just gotta watch it so we don’t go over to the dark side.

Any other bossy ladies out there?  How do you make it work in your home?  Do you feel yourself going to be dark side sometimes?  How do you get back?

 

staying together July 19, 2010

Filed under: Advice,Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:52 am
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So I read a lot.  I usually have two or three books in rotation and I buy waaay too many magazines.  I bought this one the other day when I grabbed a solo lunch at Panda Express.  FYI, this was a pre-wedding thing that I did quite often.  When I needed to get away from work, I’d go get a wedding magazine (to which I had a slight addiction while we were engaged), go to Panda Express, get a bowl and an Izze and veg out.  So it was kinda like old times…except this time it was Cosmo, which we all know is about the s-e-x.  Therefore I think The Mister likes when he sees me reading it, lol!

Anyhoo, they had an article in there that I liked, so I figured I share it with y’all.  It’s titled, “The 5 Smartest Tips We’ve Heard This Year” and it’s about keeping your relationship bond tight with your hubby.

Tip 1: Have This Conversation With Him
It’s a “love checkup”.  After you’ve had a super good day with him, say something like “we have so much fun together and I love you so much and I want to keep it that way, so I was wondering if we could talk about the stuff that’s going well and not to well.”  Then there are a series of questions that you’re supposed to ask.  I like this idea in theory…I just wonder if The Mister would get annoyed with the forced convo.  But it seems like a good idea to take stock of our relationship regularly.

Tip 2:  Get Really Creative
With dating that is.  They say that “the happiest pairs make their ‘coupleness’ a priority.”

Tip 3:  Confide In Each Other
The article says that folks don’t often intend to cheat, but that it starts with them chatting up a coworker and sharing personal details, then kablam!  They’re in bed.  So it says that “psychologists are increasingly emphasizing one hard and fast rule for protecting your bond: make sure your guy opens up to you more than anyone else and vice versa.”

Tip 4:  Try Dirty Flirting
“Advertising to the world how much you want each other is key to keeping your connection solid and sex percolating.”  I won’t mention that that quote is from a lady who wrote a book about open marriage, because it seems like a good idea and I don’t want to undercut it.

Tip 5:  Support His Goals
The doctor involved in this study looked at183 couples and “discovered that those who affirmed each other’s ideal selves fought less, were more intimate, and felt extra satisfied in the relationship.”  And who doesn’t want to feel “extra satisfied”?  I know I do!

So what do you think?  Good ideas?  Especially you folks who’ve been married for a bit…do these tips make sense?  Do you have any to add?