The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Today’s a big day! October 10, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings — Happy Nappy Bride @ 5:15 pm
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Lots of weddings today…congratulations ladies!  I can’t wait to see your pics!!!

 

marriage stats September 30, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings,Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 12:20 pm
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Obviously I believe in marriage and what it stands for, that it’s powerful and wonderful and a benefit to individuals, couples…even society.  But check out this article, “Census data: Marriages in 2009 at record low level“.  It talks about a bunch of other stuff besides marriage (income level, housing report, etc.), but I think the stuff about getting hitched is interesting.

“The new figures show, among other things, that marriages fell to a record low level in 2009, with just 52 percent of adults 18 and over saying they were joined in wedlock, compared to 57 percent in 2000.  On the issue of marriage among adults 25-34, roughly 46.3 percent reported they had never wed. It was the first time the share of unmarried young adults exceeded the 44.9 percent who were married.  The recession took a dramatic toll on the institution of marriage in America last year, new figures show, with weddings for people 18 and older at the lowest ebb in over a hundred years.”

Why aren’t folks getting married?  I’m not gonna lie, I’m surprised.  You’d almost think that the marriage rate would be higher in a recession…but I guess people don’t have to get married to live together and share bills and whatnot.  They don’t talk about cohabitation, but I’d be willing to be that that’s way up!

Did you and your honey consider waiting out the bad economy to get married?  I wonder how many dudes are ready to ask their girlfriend’s to marry them, but are sweating out the recession.  I talked a lot during my planning phase about the cost of weddings, it’d be interesting to see what the economic impact of not having all of those weddings is having.  Our small budget wedding cost $11k…and a month later we went to one that cost $50k.  Those are tangible additions to a sputtering economy.  So I guess what I’m saying is, go on and get married…it’s good for the country!

 

Favorites August 12, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings,Wedding recaps — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:20 am
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My work life is about to really get fired up here pretty soon.  Between that and starting a work blog about coaching female athletes and team building, I’m crazy busy…and oh yeah, I just got married and would like to have time to spend with my new husband.  So I’ve given myself a post schedule in order to not drive myself (and others!) crazy.  From now on, I’ll post new content on Tuesdays, Thursdays, & Saturday and/or Sunday.  That was just an informational sidenote for y’all.

I’ve been wanting to talk to you all about some of my favorite wedding posts for a while and have finally compiled my list…so here we go.  Happy clicking!

Black brides: Dirty Little Secret was about the absent women of color in the cool (non WIC) blogs & the first Tale of the Tape about the lack of women of color in bridal magazines.

Marriage: Both of these were written well before we got married and I still like them.  Check out John Lennon was about imagining a different way to be married and Dear Married People about honesty in talking about the institution.

Wedding Industrial Complex (WIC): Sanity was about my conspiracy theory that the wedding vendors and bridal magazines are in cahoots, and I Think I’ve Figured It Out talked about not getting caught up in the pretty pictures and feeling badly about your wedding.

My dad: As you guys know, my dad passed away in 2008…about a month after I met The Mister so they never met.  Here’s a post I wrote before the wedding, Dads, and one I wrote afterwards…on Father’s Day, Daddy’s Girl.

Haters: Every bride planning a wedding has the nay-sayers.  I didn’t talk about them a lot, but Things was dedicated to them.

Looking back, I’m happy I did this stuff: Custom stamps!  People loved them, I loved them, and I wrote about them here and here.  Honoring my father during the ceremony…Giving Honor talked about that.  My ceremony reading was a Nikki Giovanni poem called Resignation, which talks about being an independent woman who falls (completely and totally) for her man and realizes what it’s like to put someone else’s needs ahead of her own.

DIY: I’m not crafty or do-it-your-selfy, but we did do a couple of things that turned out pretty well…and saved a ton of loot.  I made eight cake stands for less than $20 using stuff from the dollar store.  Have you priced out cake stands lately…they’re crazy expensive!  We did our own invitations (STD’s, invites, reply cards, inserts, envelopes, ceremony programs…everything) and they were pretty awesome, in my opinion.  Finally, my bridesmaids did all of the flowers for the ceremony and reception…and they were gorgeous!  I estimate that we saved about $2500 just by doing these things.

Things I fretted over that I shouldn’t have: Having cocktail napkins with our names and wedding dates on them…I still have a whole mess of those things left!  *shaking head*  Though the ribbon that’s on this same post, Weddingy, was pretty awesome.  We used it to hang our pew balls (flowers) and on our reception favors.  And here I openly acknowledge my worry as pointless…but continue to worry, lol!

Week of: My favorite post from our wedding week.  Mostly because I was dizzy with pure, 100% fortified tired.  It’s when I acknowledged that I was a little batty…Weddingese was posted the Sunday before our Friday wedding.

Wedding picture: This one isn’t even from our photographer, but one of my bridesmaids.  It’s our first dance and shows how happy I was to marry The Mister.  I just couldn’t (or wouldn’t) stop looking at him.

After the wedding: I took two cell phone pictures of The Mister and I’s stuff together and I like looking at them both.  The first was our rings sitting together and the other is my wedding dress and his wedding suit hanging together on the same hanger…very powerful images.

 

daddy’s girl June 20, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:08 pm
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There was no father of the bride at my wedding a few weeks ago.  That’s because my dad passed away suddenly in 2008, which turned out to be quite the transformational year for me.  It was the year this proud daddy’s girl became fatherless and I also met the man of my dreams who would eventually become my husband.

I loved my dad fiercely and unapologetically, much in the way I love The Mister.  They’re both big, strong men physically and emotionally.  They’re both the center of attention…the life of the party.  They both love me.  So I consider myself to be pretty blessed to have these two men in my life.  My only regret is that they never got the chance to meet each other.

Happy Father’s Day dad…I know you would’ve loved this great guy I married.

 

Our story on Black Voices!! June 14, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings — Happy Nappy Bride @ 7:39 pm
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Check it out:  Black Voices on Love

There’s a picture of a random couple, but then one of us down below.  FYI, this is a repeat of the AisleDash story.

 

Rings June 2, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:54 pm
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So these are The Mister and I’s rings.  I’d told y’all before that I love flower rings and because he loves me…he got a jeweler to make a flower ring for me!  It’s yellow & white gold and diamonds and it’s sitting inside of his band which I also love  (I legitimately am the queen of blurry pictures, but hopefully you get the idea).  Rings are a wonderful wedding and marriage tradition…but we just had to put our spin on it.

Anyhoo, we went to see Sex and The City before we left for Mexico and I loved it.  No, it’s not Shakespeare, but it is SATC and it did what it was supposed to do.  But one of the cool parts of the movie is right at the beginning when all of the ladies are gathered at a wedding.  The one guy is all about an over the top experience/event/wedding and the other dude is trying to be a rebel against tradition and be “anti” guy.  But as soon as he starts his vows and professes them in front of his fam and friends, the emotion of the moment overtakes him.

Because there is something to tradition.  There is something to having a wedding and all of the leadup and all of the planning.  Now that I’m on the other side, I think of how different it would have been to elope.  To skip learning how to problem solve as a couple rather than just by myself.  To miss out of being gracious in the face of people’s not always so kind words.  To bypass the gravity of the moment.

The tradition of a wedding is powerful.  It’s bigger than me.  It’s bigger than The Mister.  It’s big.  And because of that you get nervous and worry about everything large and small.  Weddings force you to be sure about something bigger than you…it’s a leap of faith.  Not just about your day and the details that you’ve spent months thinking about and planning.  But about your relationship.  Because of the “big”ness of getting married, I really spent a lot of time thinking and praying and I had such peace about marrying The Mister.  Peace that I’ll be a good wife for him and that he’ll be a good husband to me.  That we’ll create a positive and happy home together.  That we’ll do fabulous things as a Mr. and Mrs….maybe things that we wouldn’t have been able to accomplish singly.  And because I’m a church girl, peace that God truly did bring us together.

So eloping wouldn’t have been for me.  I personally needed to the “big” day and all that comes with it.  I realize that everyone is different and many folks have eloped and their marriages have been wonderful…but it wouldn’t have worked for me.

As you can see, this whole thing has made me quite thoughtful about this whole “wedding and marriage process” so I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts later.

 

Yay!! May 19, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:16 pm
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It’s supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny for our wedding!  It’s supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny for our wedding!  It’s supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny for our wedding!  It’s supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny for our wedding!  It’s supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny for our wedding!  It’s supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny for our wedding!  It’s supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny for our wedding!  It’s supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny for our wedding!

 

frugal DIY bride? May 18, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings,Community — Happy Nappy Bride @ 6:02 pm
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So it seems that if you’re an indie bride, a frugal bride, or just a want-to-be-your-own-person bride…then you’re super crafty.  You’ve gocco’d (whatever that is!) napkins, made your own reception food, spent your wedding morning baking wedding pies, created/designed/printed your own stationary…*sigh* I’m out of breath!

Well, I am an indie bride!  I most certainly am a frugal bride.  And I’m a want-to-be-my-own person person…not just bride!  But what I’m not?  Crafty.  It’s not that I don’t have the crafty artsy gene…it’s that I don’t have the corresponding desire, lol!  I felt like our wedding was a shot to support local  businesses who do all of that stuff a lot better and a lot more efficiently than I could have…except in this one case.

I (along with a super handy coworker) am building a chuppah for our ceremony.  What’s a chuppah?  A wedding canopy that has Jewish origins which represents the couple’s future home together, God’s protective covering, and a place where deceased ancestors are said to gather.  You can see pictures here.

Anyhoo, as soon as The Mister asked me to marry him, I realized that I wanted to have one of these and that it would be much cheaper if I made it myself…and we all know I love cheap, lol!  So here’s what we bought today at a supply store:

PVC that’ll be the base for the chuppah…4-8′ sections, 4-5′ sections:

Connectors for the PVC:

The spray paint for the PVC to make it look more like wood…PVC is so much cheaper than wood!:

You can see what that “stone” paint looks like on these planters.  They’re the super cheap plastic ones, but they look much snazzier with that paint on them!:

When we put everything together, I’ll put up a pic of the finished project.  What’s not pictured here is the three bags of cement that we’ll use for the base and my grandma’s afghan that’ll go on top.  I’m excited about this project because it’s something that I’ve wanted from get go…and because it connects my past (ancestors who’ve passed away) with my future as a Mrs.

Have you DIY’d?  How did it go?  Did you enlist help or did you try it all on your own?

 

can we be “that” couple? May 10, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings,Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 3:23 pm
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You know who I’m talking about…they match their outfits when they go out.  He may call her “the old ball & chain”.  Normally those folks make me throw up a little in my mouth, but these are pretty cute.  Not for all of the time…can’t we just wear them on the plane to our honeymoon?  We get a pass for being cheesy then don’t we?  Don’t we?!

Is this beyond cheesy or just too cute?

 

kid accessories May 6, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:10 pm
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Stuff for the flower girl and ring bearer…haven’t really thought about it all that much.  So I hopped on Etsy today and saw some cute stuff.

This is cool…plus we could keep it afterwards:

I really like all of these…except they seem a little too flowery.  Maybe this can be my statement on the gender neutrality of inanimate objects?

I am loving those pillows!!  My idea for The Mister was to have him give his daughter (who’ll be our flower girl) a ring at the ceremony too.  Maybe we can attach her ring to one of these cutie patootie pillows and he can give it to her at the altar and then the ring bearer can carry a disc like the one on top with our rings on it.  Does that make sense or is it too complicated?  Plus I’m a little nervous about putting our rings in the care of five-year-olds.

Anyone else have ideas?