The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Degree? M.R.S. please! December 14, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 1:49 pm

I found this interesting article talking about young ladies who want to marry rich for a life of luxury.  You can click here to read the whole article, but here’s a few snippets:

“Yes — feminists look away now — most of the girls I talked to are intent on marrying a rich man.

This idea is buoyed by a culture of celebrity that sees attractive women marrying well and then enjoying ­luxurious lifestyles as a result. ­Because of this, matrimony is ­increasingly viewed as an alternative career choice for the ambitious younger generation.

‘I’m going to train as a pharmacist, work for a couple of years and then marry a rich man,’ Lilly announces in a matter-of-fact manner.

Her friend Amy also has it all mapped out: ‘I’m going to be a graphic designer — but when I have children, I’ll give up work. I’m going to marry someone with a really good job.’ Her friends nod in agreement.”

“Last year, Jill Berry, the then president of The Girls’ Schools Association, publicly said what many of us women in our late 30s and early 40s have come to realise.

She said that combining a high-powered career and motherhood and doing both well is impossible. It’s time we stopped feeding girls the fairy tale that they can do it all — and I agree.

But, more than that, I think most women — if given a truly free choice — would choose to stay at home and look after their children in their infancy.”

What do you think?



tale of the tape May 16, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:28 pm
Tags: , ,

So, I bought another wedding magazine.  Even though our wedding is less than two weeks away.  And I certainly have no real need to be looking at magazines…except I just really like them.  Anyhoo, normally in my tale of the tapes, I count up how many White brides and brides of color are in the magazine and then report back to you guys.  Well, I didn’t have to count.  There were two brides of color and hundreds (literally) of White brides.

Interestingly enough, I’d read somewhere that Amsale is a woman of color, so I went to check it out:

I’d heard right.  But these are her ad images:

You can go and check out her website if you’d like.  No women of color.  But she’s a woman of color.  Hmmm.

I’m sure it has to be hard being a woman of color in an industry that doesn’t celebrate diversity.  I would think that she’s made a concerted effort to be like everyone else, to be colorless in the presentation of her product.  But I’d also think that she’d take an all inclusive approach to advertising.  Why not Hispanic, Asian, Black, and White models?  I’m not saying she’s gotta be all power to the people.  But who’s gonna be the one to step out on a limb?


tlc May 14, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:38 pm
Tags: , ,

So I don’t have cable.  So I don’t get to watch these shows most times…except when I stay in a hotel.  Which I am now.  I’m amazed at these shows (not that I’m gonna  stop watching!) and the extravagance, the crazy expectations, the stupefying budgets.  I’m not going to get on my soapbox here, but I wonder how much these bridal shops are slipping TLC to get brides and brides-to-be thinking that a “cheap” dress costs $3,000?  And how much are the designers slipping the bridal shops to be featured on television?  Just wondering.


did you know… May 7, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 1:21 pm
Tags: , ,

…that when you Google “bride photo”, no women of color will come up?

…that it’s the same when you switch out “bride” with “groom”?

…and “wedding party”?

…that “wedding hair” turns up lots and lots of ugly hairdos…but none on women of color?

…that the only way to get a woman of color in any sort of wedding-y or bride-y photo is to actually input “woman of color”?

…that women of color apparently don’t have flower girls?

…but we do have ring bearers?  (there was a super cute pic of an African America ring bearer)

…that no brides of color have mothers?

It seems that the assumption is that every bride is White…or perhaps it’s like a default setting or something.  I’ve been told a few times to go and check out the blogs devoted solely to brides of color…and I do, but I just don’t understand why the segregation within the wedding industry is accepted as part of the deal.  Yes, it’s great that I can go to specific sites and see a whole mess of weddings of color…but why can’t I go to one mainstream site and see White brides, Hispanic brides, African American brides, Asian brides?  You get the picture.  It’s like the industry is stuck in the ’50s and ’60s…a water fountain for us and one for them.

Not cool.


tale of the tape April 10, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 7:39 pm
Tags: , ,

It’s that time again folks…another look into a popular wedding industry publication.  This time, one of my guilty pleasures, Town & Country Weddings.  It’s a more high end magazine so I was worried that I wouldn’t find any women of color, because people seem to think we don’t have loot (ummm…we do).   Here’s how it all shook out:

Total pages in magazine: 122

  • # pages with White bride: 40
  • # pages with bride of color: 0
  • # pages with White bridesmaids: 4
  • # pages with bridesmaids of color: 0
  • # pages with White bridal party: 8
  • # pages with bridal party of color: 2
  • # pages with White bride & groom: 17
  • # pages with bride & groom of color: 2

Total pages “White”:  70

Total pages “of color”: 5

The numbers are still crazy…and unfortunately, still not surprising.  Even designers of color (Mark Ingram, Vera Wang) choose not to use women of color in their ads.  Why is that?  Do they think that their product becomes less marketable?  Less desirable?  Less relate-able?


weddzilla post March 22, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories,Weddzilla — Happy Nappy Bride @ 4:53 pm

We’re often told that we’re supposed to be obsessive crazy ladies once our guys ask us to marry them.  So I had planned on being said crazy bride lady…but then it didn’t happen.  Then the conspiracy theorist in my started wondering whether or not all of the “musts” of wedding planning were contrived in some sort of joint deal between people who sell wedding stuff and the people who sell ads to people who sell wedding stuff.  You follow?

Go check this post out as I wind my way through the wedding industry and why it is as it is.


What if… March 21, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 6:09 pm
Tags: , ,

…the fancy pants wedding blogs had actual pictures of men and women of color on them?  *clutching pearls*  I mean, whenever I go to those sites (which is too often to admit the real number) I just think…heck, anybody could be doing that!  So I went over to Style Me Pretty (which is amazing in its gorgeous!) in order to see if there was something special about the White bride…I mean, is there some sort of trick that they have, a special pose or something that makes them the predominant color on this site?  Let’s see, shall we?

How about this one?  A Black chick could be a headless bouquet holder, right?

Or what about this one?  Are you telling me that an Hispanic lady and her new hubby couldn’t pose for this pic (which I love, btw)?

Photographers couldn’t find a couple of women of color to pose for this supercute picture?

A minority femme or homme could pose holding some sorbet, non?

This is a scientific study according to Dawn and the results are clear…women of color could perform the same duties as the White brides in these photo.  But for whatever reason it’s not happening.  Either the fancy pants blogs aren’t requesting photos of women of color…or worse, they’re not using them if/when they receive them.  Or the photographers aren’t sending them in to the blogs.  It’s certainly not that women of color aren’t getting married…it’s just that you’d never know it, lol!

If you want to see some hard numbers on women of color in The Knot and Brides magazines, just click on those links and you’ll see that “Black woman as wife” or “Hispanic woman” as bride is virtually nonexistant.  “Asian woman on her wedding day” is the most prevalent…but still not a whole bunch.

I’d love to go to Borders and see some women of color on the covers of some bridal magazines.  Or hop on one of those fancy pants blogs (that I still love visiting!) and see a mess of people of color donning silly fake mustaches in a photo booth.  Folks of color are wasting spending their money on all of this stuff…let’s see it!


weddzilla post March 15, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 12:59 pm
Tags: , ,

I found out early on in this whole bride-to-be adventure that I wasn’t going to flip through the pages of wedding magazines and see pics of folks that looked like me.  Unfortunately that hasn’t stopped me from spending a grip (!!) on my mountain of bridal mags…but I was shocked when I actually did an informal study on images of women of color in those magazines.  I’ll give you a hint…there aren’t many!  Check out this post over here to get the exact numbers.


follow me… March 1, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:17 am
Tags: , ,

…down the rabbit hole for a moment.

  • The CDC says that 56% of Black women have been married…and 77% of Hispanic women.
  • The US population of Blacks & Hispanics sits at 28%.
  • 28% of 304, 059, 724 (the US population estimate by the census) is 85,136,722.
  • Since that number is men & women and I’ll assume that only one side of a couple is paying for the wedding, let’s halve that to 42, 568, 361.
  • 56% (# of Black women) of 42, 568, 361 is 23, 838, 282.
  • 77% is 32, 777, 637.

Are you still with me?  I’m going somewhere here…I promise!

  • So 56, 615, 919 people of color are paying for weddings.
  • If those people all had $10k weddings…that’d be $566, 159, 190, 000 spent on weddings by people of color! That’s billions playa.

Obviously, some weddings will be way over that $10,000…and some will be under, so that number is just a guess.  But imagine the economic impact of those dollars.  So when I do my unscientific studies on the numbers of women of color in wedding magazines like I did with The Knot and Brides where the lack of women of color is staggering…I wonder what’s going on.  We’re spending money on vendors and sites just like everyone else…but I don’t get to see brides who look like me in the mags.

I don’t have any answers, but I’ll keep on preaching my “put more women of color in bridal magazines” gospel.


tale of the tape February 15, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:29 am

I’m back again with an “investigative report” on the number of women of color in wedding magazines.  Read this post so that you can understand how I came up with the criteria…you’ll also be able to read that I understand that skin color isn’t always subject to the eyeball test.

The magazine is the Spring 2010 “the knot”:

It’s the lookbook, so the ads overtake the magazine.  Here’s the numbers:

Total pages in the magazine: 504

  • # pages with White bride: 250
  • # pages with bride of color: 15
  • # pages with White bridesmaids: 55
  • # pages with bridesmaids of color: 5
  • # pages with White bridal party: 7
  • # pages with bridal party of color: 0
  • # pages with White bride & groom: 25
  • # pages with bride & groom of color: 5

Total pages “White”: 337

Total pages “of color”: 25

Allow me a moment of testiness to say that this bride is so smilingly happy because she lives in the bridal magazine suburbs…a gated community if you will.  I’m so happy to live in my white house, wearing my white dress, living in my white neighborhood here in “the knot”.

I suppose I’ll keep on doing my investigations, because the omission of women of color is clearly not an accident.  I mean, you can’t tell me there aren’t Hispanic, Black, Asian, etc. models looking for work.  And my bank account tells me that women of color are spending money.  So again I ask…what’s really going on?