The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

My dad February 7, 2011

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:36 pm

This week, one of The Mister’s high school friends’ dad passed away at 61…just like my dad.  It happened suddenly…just like my dad.  It’s amazing how the present can take you to the past so quickly.

I remember getting a message on my phone while I was getting a bagel (toasted with butter) for lunch.  I didn’t notice the message until I was driving, so I just waited until I got back to my office.  And that’s when I first knew something was wrong.  Because the message was from a hospital in Jackson, MI and that’s where my dad lived.

“This is Nurse Susie and I’m looking for Dawn.  Please give me a call when you receive this message.”

My stomach dropped.  All sorts of horrible scenarios went through my head as to what had happened to my dad.  None of them involved his death.

I called the nurse back and she asked my name and I told her.  She asked if my dad was my dad and I said he was.  She said that the ambulance had been called to his house the night before and that the doctors had tried really hard, but he didn’t make it.

I didn’t understand, so I asked her what she meant.  She said again that “he didn’t make it.”  I asked her if he was dead and she said yes.  I asked her if this was some awful joke and she sounded offended as she said, “of course not.”

I thanked her for letting me know and hung up while she was telling me that she was sorry for my loss.  I just stared at the phone.

Then I went to look for my boss because we had a meeting scheduled at that very moment.  I saw her and told her that I wouldn’t make the meeting and fell out right there in the hallway.  She took me back to my office and I blubbered what I’d just found out…that my daddy had been dead when I thought he was alive.

I called my brother and told him what the nurse had told me: that my dad called the ambulance and didn’t make it…that he had an aneurysm.  Since I’m sure I was nonsensical when I talked to him, he asked for the nurse’s number so that he could find out more information.

But all I needed to know was that my dad was dead.

I still have my dad’s phone number programmed into my phone…I can’t bring myself to delete it.

So when we went to the visitation the other day and his wife and kids all said they couldn’t believe it because it was so sudden, all I could say was, “I understand and I’m so sorry.”

Those are the most true things that I’ve ever said because I understand all too well…and that’s why I’m so sorry.


Disjointed and random… January 30, 2011

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:58 pm
Tags: , ,

…thoughts, that is.  I’m just sitting under the hair dryer after completing the weekly wash and thought I’d share a few things.

*I love it when someone says that they’re a “grown *ss man/woman…that usually means something is about to pop off.  Get the popcorn and wait for the show!

*Does anyone out there subscribe to Groupon?  I just signed up about a week ago and haven’t gotten anything even close to good…is it worth it?

*I’m sure you can figure out why I now know when I ovulate and how long my cycles are…but why am I a grown woman just figuring this stuff out??

*I bought mouthwash for $4 the other day and got a coupon for $4 back…I was embarrassingly over-the-moon at my savings.

*I love my hood dryer!

*Speaking of hair…did y’all know that I did my own hair for the wedding?  Now that I look back, that was kinda crazy.  I legitimately had no clue how I was going to style until I took it off of the rollers.  I mean, what if it didn’t set right or something?!  (you can see pics on the “About Dawn” button over there, top right)

*The Mister was listening to Public Enemy when I came home the other day…talk about a blast from the past! (Bass! How low can you go?)

*You know who was underrated from back in the day?  De La Soul…now that was some good music!

*I’ve set my hair with flat twists the last couple of weeks and really like them…wish I could get them to last longer though.  Anyone have tips?  I never leave them in for public consumption, I always wear them in a twist out.  Oh yeah, my hair’s natural.

*Thinking of running another half marathon in May…who’s with me?

I think that’s it chicas…holla back!


Game day January 23, 2011

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:21 am

Being that I’m a Lions fan (sad, I know), I don’t really care about the games this weekend.  But the folks around here?  Cuh-ray-zee about this Bears-Packers game today.

We live in Illinois, but are only a 20 minute drive from Wisconsin…so there are a ton of both fans here.  It’s like armageddon is coming or something.  The Mister is a huge Bears fan, so you know what that means…GO BEARS!!  🙂


Jail time for looking at spouse’s email? December 30, 2010

Filed under: Home life,Uncategorized — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:29 am
Tags: , ,

Have y’all heard about this dude who is facing five years in prison for looking at his wife’s email?  It’s kinda crazy!

Here are the facts:

  • I mean, they’re married.
  • He had her password.  (She says she didn’t give it to him)
  • It happened on a shared computer.  (She says it wasn’t)
  • She was cheating on him…with her ex-husband!
  • The ex-hubs was abusive and new hubs was worried for his kids’ safety.
  • Hubs was an IT guy who knows his way around a computer.

What do you think?


Shameful thievery December 12, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 6:32 pm

Once again, I was over at Simple Marriage’s blog and saw an article that’s critical to any relationship…whether it be a parent-child, spouse to spouse, or friendship.  The title was 5 Steps To A Genuine Apology and you can click on the title to get to the actual article.

I’m sure we’ve all been victims of the non-apology apology:  “I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt.”  Huh???  “I’m sorry that you misunderstood what I meant.”  Wha???  “I’m sorry I kissed your boyfriend but I thought you were out of town.”  Hmmmpft!  The good part about this list is that there’s no space for defending your offensive actions.  You can’t apologize AND say “but this is why I did it”.  They don’t care why you did it silly, just apologize and keep it movin’!

Anyhoo, I’m sniping the five things to post up over here and would love to hear from you in the comments!

  1. Describe the event (WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE)
  2. Yesterday when we were in the car (where), you (who) were telling me how you handled a situation at work (what) . . .

  3. Tell what you did and describe the action
  4. . . . and I said, in a sarcastic manner (how I acted) that I thought the way you handled the situation was stupid (what I did). I want you to know that I was rude to use such a harsh word as stupid. It was judgmental of me to think that I knew better how to handle that situation at your work. I think that speaking to you in a sarcastic manner was disrespectful and contemptuous and not the way I want to treat you.

  5. Acknowledge the damage done
  6. I know that it hurt you for me to label your actions as stupid and to speak to you in a sarcastic manner. I know that my thoughtless words reflected a lack of confidence in your abilities and my sarcastic tone was unkind and necessary.

  7. Tell what you wish you had done instead
  8. I wish that I had been more thoughtful and kind and chosen my words more carefully. I wish I had talked about the many school situations you have handled successfully.

  9. Tell what you PLAN to do differently the next time.
  10. The next time you are telling me about something that happens at work, I plan to listen better, ask more questions, and choose my words carefully. I plan to focus on my knowledge of your strengths. And I commit to you my intent to speak to you in a manner that reflects how much I care for you and about our relationship.



Husband-y December 6, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 4:08 pm

I’m happy that I married The Mister for so many reasons…he’s just a great guy, but there are a few things that I’m exceptionally happy about with him.  Things that I can pawn off on him that I really don’t like doing.  Now before you read my list, please don’t misunderstand me as saying that I cannot do these things…I’d just rather not.   I’m a woman and I roar (can’t you hear me?), but there are some tasks that I’ll happily hand over to The Mister…and I’ve chosen to call them Husbandy.  Or, things that a husband should do.

The 8 things that I think are husband-y things to do (Winter Edition)

  • Shoveling. Uck.  It’s a good workout, that’s about the only good thing I have to say about shoveling snow, so I’ll happily let The Mister do that one!
  • Opening doors. No, my hands are broken and yes, when he’s not around I have to open doors myself…but when he is, it’s nice to have a door opened for me.
  • Cleaning the snow off of my car. It’s cold outside.  Like really cold outside and it’s so nice when he’ll clean off my car so that I don’t have to.
  • Killing bugs. The Mister’s more of a rescuer and I’m more of a murderer when it comes to bugs!  So maybe this one doesn’t belong on the list…I don’t really mind killing bugs.
  • Opening jars. I’ve got ginormous hands and don’t typically have trouble opening jars and things like that, but I always think of the Seinfeld where Jerry was dating the nudist lady and she was trying to open the jar.  Not a good look.
  • Weird noises in the middle of the night.  When I was single and I heard weird noises, I just prayed for sleep to come right away, lol!  Now that I’ve got The Mister, I shove my head under his arm and go to sleep.  Don’t know why this helps, but it does.
  • Finding the fuse box. We live in an old house, so it wasn’t set up for all of the electronics that we have these days.  So every now and then, a fuse will blow and he’ll have to go down to the breaker box.  First of all, I don’t know where it is; second of all, I wouldn’t know what switch to flip; and thirdly, I really don’t want to have to worry about it.
  • Putting up the Christmas tree. We just put ours up this weekend and I’m glad he did it!  Once he hauled it up from the basement and got it put together, the lights wouldn’t work and he was fiddling around with that thing for a while!

So, of course I know that I could do those tasks myself.  But isn’t the point of being a couple and a partnership that we don’t have to do everything ourselves?  I’d be willing to bet that some ladies’ husbandy things wouldn’t make my list (like, I love to grill and garden), just like you probably didn’t agree with all of mine.

Hit me up in the comments and tell me about your husbandy things!


FYI: It’s December Next Week! November 27, 2010

Filed under: Holidays,Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:24 am

Eek…is anyone else freaking out that December starts on Wednesday?!  Where did the year go?  It’s been a pretty good year for me though:  got married this summer (6 months tomorrow…Woot! Woot!!), got published a couple of times in work related periodicals, and had tremendous success with my team on the work side of the world.  But now it’s time to think about the holidays and I’ve got three questions for you:

  1. How are you and your honey handling gifts?:  Last year we didn’t have to worry about it, because we weren’t married yet, but now I suppose we’ve got to come up with a plan so that we’re not shopping all willy nilly.  Are you guys going to set a price limit to what you’ll spend?  How will you decide on how much to spend on each family member?  Like, if I spend $100 on my mom…should he spend the same on his?  FYI: I’m miserly.
  2. Online or in-store?:  I’m an online shopper myself.  I can do without the crowds and pushing and shoving.  Plus, I feel like the deals are just as good online as in-store.  What’s your preference?
  3. How will you divvy up your holiday time?:  This year is going to be a bit different because we won’t be able to fly down to see my fam for Christmas…this is literally the first time in a decade that we won’t be together during that time.  (Unless I can convince The Mister to drive down there…tall order, though.)  How do you guys decide how to split time with the fam?

I can’t wait to hear how you guys tackle these situations…hit me up in the comments!


Fusion…and I’m not talking food November 18, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 4:28 pm
Tags: , ,

“You complete me?  I don’t think so playa!”

I can’t wait to hear what you guys think of this statement!  I don’t want to jade you toward my way of thinking, but I was shocked when I read this article on Simple Marriage titled, “The biggest marriage killer” (this is just an excerpt, you can click that link to read the whole thing):

“When you first met your spouse, ideally you were both living interesting and fulfilling lives. These lives were an important part of what made you attractive to each other. But often, as your relationship progresses with each other, you let go of what used to be important and fulfilling to you for the sake of the relationship.

When this happens it creates two problems.

  1. You are each no longer the person the other was originally attracted to.
  2. As each of you give up important things in your life, you often expect the other person to fill the void. This is a heavy burden to place on any one person. It creates neediness and dependency, as well as resentment and boredom.

One of the biggest killers of passion in marriage is all the meaningless time spouses spend together. And it is actually this type of tensionless coexistence that defines most marriages today.

You need to live an interesting, fulfilling life beyond your intimate relationship.

Marriage should be two mature people who take responsibility for getting their own needs met both with each other and from numerous other sources.

While I firmly believe you should keep all of your sexual energy within the marriage, I also believe you should keep doing all of the interesting things you were doing before you met your spouse (or enjoy doing without your spouse).

Great marriages are the result of two mature, grown up people – both of whom have full, satisfying lives – cooperating with each other to get their needs met. In this kind of differentiated relationship, each spouse compliments the other, but doesn’t complete them.”

I loved reading this, because I always felt badly for being an independent married lady…like that was somehow a paradox or something.  I had my stuff when I met The Mister and I still have my stuff.  Now don’t mistake this for me playing the hard role, I still get geeked like a little puppy when I hear his key in the door (my baby’s home! my baby’s home!), but we’re both good doing our stuff.  Then we come home and we’re together and enjoy each others company.  I wanted a husband and not a homegirl or roommate…can I get an amen?!


It’s business time! October 26, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:01 pm

You MUST watch this video!  A co-worker of mine showed me this video a few days ago and I hollered!  It’s about “doing the do” once you’re an established couple and it is too funny.  Seriously…TOO funny!  Please, please watch it and listen carefully…it’s the witty kind of funny that actually requires you to pay attention.  Well worth it…let me know what you think.

FYI, the ladies in the office were cracking up and the men were just shaking their heads…which made it even funnier!


smushy mushy goodness October 19, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:43 pm
Tags: ,

I’m obviously in a sappy mood tonight.  I bought a song based on an NFL commercial and now I’m in love with it…seriously.  You guys know that I’m a huge NFL fan and happily spend my Sundays perched in front of the television.  A few weeks ago I saw a commercial with the tagline “There’s No Place Like Home” with this absolutely fabulous song on it and I bought it.

Then I heard the whole thing.

It’s wonderful I tell ya!  The lyrics make me want to give The Mister lots of big, huge hugs and tell him how much I love him.  This song makes me smile.  It makes my heart feel like someone is squeezing it a little…I love it.  Watch the video at your own risk…you will love your hubby with a sappy, sweet, sticky love.  Here’s a preview of the chorus:  “Home is when I’m alone with you”…and if you don’t think that’s super awesome, “home is whenever I’m with you.”  Awwwwww!!!

Anyhoo, “Home” by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

Same song, but live on the Letterman show.  Warning…they’re kooky!