I sometimes feel like I let folks down in my reactions to their wedding questions. It’s like they want me to be excited with capital letters and I’m all lower case. They want exclamation points at the end of every wedding related sentence and all I got is a period…or maybe an ellipsis. I am excited about everything involved with the day…I just wanna make sure I’m more excited about the days after our wedding day. Click here to read about it.
Weddzilla post May 9, 2010
Tags: marriage philosophy, practical
fantasy April 27, 2010
On July 25th, when The Mister asked me to marry him, the whole wedding thing seemed like it was sooo far away. All of the planning wasn’t really real, because the wedding was sooo far away. Well now it’s only thirty one days away (!!) and the fantasy’s gone and the work has started. No more looking at blogs and magazines for inspiration or to drool over other people’s weddings. Now it’s about getting RSVP cards back, sending out invites for the rehearsal din din, working with my maid of honor (who’s out of state like all of my fam) on the bridal shower, vendor meetings, watching my savings account dwindle…the nuts and bolts of planning a big shindig.
Now I’m just sitting back and hoping that all of that planning will pan out…that folks have a good time, drink lots of beer, shake their collective tails, and eat until their bellies pop. I also hope that I don’t sweat too much, cry too much, or drink too much.
That’s not too much to ask is it? Has your fantasy collided with reality yet?
wedding crazy-part deux April 22, 2010
Yesterday I wrote about fighting the financial wedding crazy that says that the “average” wedding costs $31,000. But there’s the other side to the wedding crazy…us, lol! Now we’re all trying to save money, be frugal, stay sane, keep things in perspective, yada, yada, yada. But…you know you got a little kooky after your dude asked you to marry him.
Wedding crazy is a special kind of crazy. It’s what happens to otherwise normal and well-adjusted ladies when we get engaged. An abridged list of symptoms include insatiable desire to buy and read wedding magazines, an odd obsession with stationary and stamps, an ever-growing list of wedding blogs that are on your daily list, an annoying indecisiveness about nonsensical and unimportant things like tulle and napkins and ribbons, and an unnerving vanity about hair, makeup, shoes, and other whatnots. The only cure as I can see it is the actual wedding, but starting a blog has helped me stave off the crazy. I’ve got a guy friend who’s getting married this weekend and his fiancee has scared him with her wedding crazy…he looked visibly scared this week, lol!
I try to limit the wedding talk around The Mister because I don’t want him to freak out, but now that we’re about a month out I think it’s gonna be inevitable. What are you doing to fight the wedding crazy?
Mostly because it’s inappropriate… April 17, 2010
…I can’t cuss out people who give me crap about how we’re planning our wedding. So I re-read this and take many, many (many!) deep breaths.
it’s not a bad word April 13, 2010
I was in a meeting yesterday at work and the guy who was leading it asked who wanted to make calls to folks with good and bad news. He looked around at everyone and I volunteered right away. Then he was like, “I can make the calls to the folks who’ve got the bad news if you like.” I looked at him like he was crazy and said (literally): I have no problem with “no”. So everyone got all, “watch out for Dawn” and “I wouldn’t want to see Dawn in a back alley”, yada, yada, yada.
What’s wrong with “no”? It’s not a bad word?
And I’m finding that I’ve become emboldened with the power of “no” when it comes to wedding planning. For myself: no, I can’t buy a purse that costs $200 that will only be used at the reception. No! For the fam: no, cousin so and so can’t come to the wedding right now…we don’t have room. No! But maybe as more “no” RSVP’s come in, we’ll be able to make room for them. See? A positive “no”!
So ladies, there’s nothing wrong with “no”…it’s just another word. But a powerful word that can help you set boundaries for yourself and others as you plan your wedding. Have you had to use any “no’s” lately?
jitters? April 12, 2010
Check out this article from over at The Knot, it’s about getting cold feet. It’s one of those things that we don’t really talk about, but as I read blogs and hear the stress oozing from them…I wonder if this is what’s going on. There’s more to the article than this, but these are the one’s that seem to keep coming up.
Personally…I’m sick, Aunt Flo is coming next week, work has picked up, and oh yeah…we’re getting married next month! So I’m sure I’ve been extra fun lately. I think I’m past the freaking out with every minor disagreement (oh my God how will this last if we’re arguing about this little thing?!!!!!), though it may rear its ugly head again soon as the calendar flips over to May. Check out this article and let me know what you think:
Got cold feet? Are you experiencing a chilling fear as you realize that you’re about to spend the rest of your life with the same person? Don’t worry, it happens. Most of the time, this freak-out period just means you’re suffering from a case of pre-wedding jitters.
Pre-Wedding Jitters: Reasons NOT to Call it Off
Fed Up Forever?
Is she or he getting on your nerves? Do you suddenly have a low threshold for that messy desk, those unwashed dishes, or that loud sneezing? It’s okay. The engagement period is not always happy camping — pre-wedding stress can make you more irritable, impatient, and easily annoyed. If, out of the blue, his or her friends start bugging you and those habits are driving you berserk, take a deep breath. Recognize that you’re extra moody — and do your best to keep things in perspective.
Two weeks before the big bash, you find that you’re panicked — you’re sweating, shaking, losing sleep, and not eating. While this is not healthy, it is normal. You’re about to make a commitment for the rest of your life and you’re staring that notion right in the eye. Try your best to relax and be healthy. Your nerves will eventually return to a normal state.
I liked this article because I can try to prepare myself for the freakout and if it comes, I’m not surprised…and if it doesn’t… Ha! You better believe I’ll be on here bragging about what a cool customer I am. So ladies, if you’re freaking out…or just snippy and driving your fiance crazy, you have an excuse!
Things… April 7, 2010
Tags: african american bride, black bride, family, practical, preparation
…I’ve been told I can’t do lately:
- my own hair (“this ain’t the country”)
- my own makeup (“you need a professional”)
- wear a short wedding dress (I am)
- buy said dress all by myself (I did)
- buy said dress all by myself on the first weekend after we got engaged (oh yes I did!)
- have fun invitations (I’ve gotten nothing but compliments)
- have a local and organic reception (we are!)
- serve good beer, wine, and liquor cheaply (we figured it out playa)
- have an engagement ring that’s not a diamond (I do and I love it)
- stay sane while planning a wedding (why not?)
- stay sane and obsess all at the same time (again…I’ve figured it out playa, lol!)
- keep from freaking The Mister out with my wedding crazy (so far, so good)
- be happy with whatever folks want to do in terms of their hair, makeup, and accessories (they’re all grown folks, right?)
- be in the moment (this one is hard, I’ll admit…but I try hard everyday)
What have you been told you can’t do in terms of your wedding planning?
so I’m getting married next month April 2, 2010
Tags: african american bride, black bride, marriage philosophy, practical
Crazy right? I think I’m supposed to feel all crazy and stressed and out of control (sidenote: I tried to find a pic of a woman of color as the frazzled bride. None of us should be surprised that I couldn’t find a brown or black person to fill the role)…like this:
But I actually feel pretty good. Perhaps it’s because ignorance is bliss…I have no idea of any sort of impending disaster, so I guess it’s so far so good. We got our invitations out and people are telling me that they got the invitation or asking me to guess what they got in the mail today…it’s pretty fun! I’ve gotten lots of good feedback about the invites and if there are folks who don’t like them, they’re nice enough not to tell me.
We actually got our first RSVP yesterday! Well, it was from The Mister’s mom, so we kinda figured she was coming, but still…pretty exciting. Lots of folks are telling us that they’re booking flights and making hotel reservations. Fun, fun, fun!
Though The Mister and I have been pretty practical about this whole wedding business, I can understand how ladies can get all kooky as the wedding date approaches. I mean, folks are paying for flights and hotel rooms and gifts…you at least want to give them a good party. I think what keeps us from going all bride/groom-zilla on folks is that we know that the wedding is a beginning and not an ending. It’s gonna be a sweet party for sure, but it’s the start of our lives together…and we’re pretty fired up that our friends and family want to be there with us as we start our journey.
Perhaps in a month, I’ll be that lady pictured above, but for right now…it’s smooth sailing.
cheesy, I know March 28, 2010
So we’re exactly two months out now. I feel like things are going as they should…but what the heck do I know, lol?! Even better news is that I tried on my dress and it fits now, so Operations Get Buff and Get Tight are working well. As a sidenote, when I tried on the dress at the shop, I asked about a little pouf in the back…by the butt. I was like, is it supposed to be like that? And the dress lady was like, no, but this dress doesn’t exactly fit you. Well, dang lady. Hmmmppft!
I love putting together workouts, so now that Operation Get Buff is officially over after twelve weeks, it’s time to up the ante on Operation Get Tight and here’s my new workout book. I put together workouts all of the time and find that it’s pretty inspirational to put sayings and quotations on the cover. For this one, I put on stuff that reminds me of The Mister and what we’re about to do:
Here’s the cover…
Here are some of the stickers that remind me of how I feel for The Mister:
What motivates you to work it out like a rock star? Or to keep grinding trying to get the details of the day together? I find that not only does working out help me fit into my dress, it keeps me sane. I feel like the reason I’m not stressing and freaking is because I’ve got an outlet through working out. What’s your outlet? How are you gonna keep from going nutty right before your wedding day?
weddzilla post March 11, 2010
Tags: african american bride, black bride, marriage philosophy, practical, wedding
Remember in the Sex and The City movie, how Mr. Big got nervous because there was too much wedding talk…but not enough marriage talk? I wonder if all guys worry that they’re just a guy instead of the guy…like us ladies will marry the first dude (any dude!) that asks us to marry him. I’ve been trying to let The Mister know how much I’m looking forward to our life together…not just the wedding, because I certainly don’t want him to think that he was a means to an end. This post is about not wanting to be all wedding crazy.