The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Disjointed and random… January 30, 2011

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:58 pm
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…thoughts, that is.  I’m just sitting under the hair dryer after completing the weekly wash and thought I’d share a few things.

*I love it when someone says that they’re a “grown *ss man/woman…that usually means something is about to pop off.  Get the popcorn and wait for the show!

*Does anyone out there subscribe to Groupon?  I just signed up about a week ago and haven’t gotten anything even close to good…is it worth it?

*I’m sure you can figure out why I now know when I ovulate and how long my cycles are…but why am I a grown woman just figuring this stuff out??

*I bought mouthwash for $4 the other day and got a coupon for $4 back…I was embarrassingly over-the-moon at my savings.

*I love my hood dryer!

*Speaking of hair…did y’all know that I did my own hair for the wedding?  Now that I look back, that was kinda crazy.  I legitimately had no clue how I was going to style until I took it off of the rollers.  I mean, what if it didn’t set right or something?!  (you can see pics on the “About Dawn” button over there, top right)

*The Mister was listening to Public Enemy when I came home the other day…talk about a blast from the past! (Bass! How low can you go?)

*You know who was underrated from back in the day?  De La Soul…now that was some good music!

*I’ve set my hair with flat twists the last couple of weeks and really like them…wish I could get them to last longer though.  Anyone have tips?  I never leave them in for public consumption, I always wear them in a twist out.  Oh yeah, my hair’s natural.

*Thinking of running another half marathon in May…who’s with me?

I think that’s it chicas…holla back!

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The posting grind January 11, 2011

Filed under: Writing — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:02 pm
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I’d love to hear from other newlyweds (it’s been almost eight months now!!) about this whole blogging thing.

Was it just me, or were we all crazy with the posts?  I always posted everyday…and didn’t think twice about it.  But now that I’m married, I don’t feel like I’ve got all that much to say.  I certainly freak out every now and then about not having mastered marriage, but generally I feel like I’m a better person than I was eight months ago.  But is that exciting enough to write about?  Would you want to read about how awesome things are?  Booooring!

I feel like I’m not enjoying talking about this phase of my life…and I want to!  I don’t want to feel like I’m waiting for the next big event…and you all know what that’s supposed to be.

Maybe I’m just being weird.

Am I the only one struggling what their blog is supposed to be and where it’s supposed to go?

 

What I’ve been up to January 5, 2011

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:17 pm
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So this is what I’ve been up to since I posted last:

  1. I got my purse stolen on New Year’s Eve…had my driver’s license, cell phone, credit card, and car keys in it.  It was not awesome.
  2. My computer got infected with some yucky virus and proceeded to present the Blue Screen of Death.
  3. Had to go back to the DMV to get another drivers license.  The upside is that since I was just there getting a new license for the name change, I didn’t have to take a new picture.  The downside is that the picture still sucks.
  4. Canceled the credit card.
  5. Had to go and get a new cell phone.  When I went in, I was like, “I need a new phone now!”  And the lady told me I wasn’t up for an upgrade so I had to pay full price and I was like whatever.  Then she said it’d be $600 and I said, “I do not need a new cell phone now”, lol!!
  6. Anyhoo, they shipped a new phone to me and I took it in to get it all set up and I got home and The Mister said his phone didn’t work.  They’d given me his phone number.  D’oh!  So, back to the cell phone place.
  7. I went to the doctor on Monday because I’ve been feeling awful, had to go in on Tuesday for blood tests and have yet to hear back.  It’s so bad that I just start telling people about it, I have no shame.  Unfortunately, The Mister still does and I think he gets a bit uncomfortable with my “yucky belly” talk.
  8. Just picked my laptop up today and it’s all cleaned up…yay!
  9. Oh, and did I tell you that I’m getting audited?

Still with all of that going on…life is good.  I’m married to a wonderful dude, I’ve got a job I love, and we just did our holiday bills and we did good!!  Yippee!

 

I resolve… January 1, 2011

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:16 pm
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I’ve only got two resolutions.  So without further ado *ahem*:  in 2011, I resolve:

  1. To save money. I’m not saying that I’m a money-grubber, but I want to have loads of loot for when The Mister and I get old.  I mean baller-type money.  Why?  Because I want to have money for our kids’ college education so that they can start their life without debt.  Because I want us to be comfortable and be able to travel without worry.  Because I want to leave my/his/our families money when we pass away.

    That’s easier said that done though, right?  It will mean less eating out, more nights in, using the library rather than going to Borders (one of my lifelong dreams is having a library in my house, so this is a tough one), taking my lunch every day, buying less meat, less clothes & shoes shopping.  That’s a very uncomfortable list of things that need to occur, but (as my boy Dave Ramsey says) we’ve got to lead an uncommon life now so that when we’re old, we can live an uncommon life–of comfort and wealth.

  2. To be less selfish. As amazingly wonderful and awesome as I am, I’m pretty selfish sometimes.  I’ve heard folks say that marriage is God’s way of making you a better person and I couldn’t agree more…it’s just painful sometimes.  One of my girlfriends asked why people say that marriage is hard work and I told her it’s because you realize how cruddy you are sometimes.  A good example is when The Mister and I have a tiff, I always talk about myself and my feelings…and I may eventually work around to finding out how he feels.  That’s no good because that means that I’m making him someone who’s just there to please me and make me happy.  And when he doesn’t, I’m pissy.

    Remember I’m a church girl, so I’ve got a great book that I had laying around that said something profound:  There is a false sense of self-protection in harboring an offense.  It keeps you from seeing your own character flaws because the blame is deferred to another.  You never have to face your role, your immaturity, or your sin because you see only the faults of the offender.  Therefore, God’s attempt to develop character in you by this opposition is now abandoned.

So that’s what I’ve got…to be the best wifey I can be for The Mister and to set us up to be kazillionaires in our old age.  What are your resolutions?  Even if you don’t believe in them, are there things you want to work on this year?

 

Jail time for looking at spouse’s email? December 30, 2010

Filed under: Home life,Uncategorized — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:29 am
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Have y’all heard about this dude who is facing five years in prison for looking at his wife’s email?  It’s kinda crazy!

Here are the facts:

  • I mean, they’re married.
  • He had her password.  (She says she didn’t give it to him)
  • It happened on a shared computer.  (She says it wasn’t)
  • She was cheating on him…with her ex-husband!
  • The ex-hubs was abusive and new hubs was worried for his kids’ safety.
  • Hubs was an IT guy who knows his way around a computer.

What do you think?

 

Reading list December 19, 2010

Filed under: Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:53 am
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I found a nice article over at Happily Married After called, “Marriage is a book: Not a chapter, page, or paragraph” and thought that he made a lot of nice points.  See what you think:

Thea and I had a challenging first year of marriage, as many newly married couples do. If we were to consider that those first few ‘pages’ of our marriage was indicative of the whole, we would have shut the book and returned it to the library. But we did not. And now by the end of the first chapter of our marriage – our marriage is much, much, much better. And we are so glad that we did not get caught up on page one.

Your marriage is a book. A whole wonderful story. Don’t get caught up on a letter, a word, a sentence, a paragraph, a page, or a chapter. Let the whole story play out. The best part is that we, with our hard work and effort, can write the story of our marriage in any way we’d like. And know this as well, our inattention and indifference to our marriage let’s outside influences write the story. And that’s when we sit and think that we don’t like the plot and try to exchange it for another book. It’s not necessary. You are the author and your story can be a good one. Finish the book.

As y’all know, I coach for a living and “finish” is a word we use a lot…I’d never thought of it in terms of a relationship.  What did you guys think of the article?  I loved it, because I am prone to being a tad emotional (Like, oh my gosh this is the worst thing ever…my life as we know it is gonna end!  Then the next day, oh my gosh, my life is awesome…it’s just great being me!) and blowing things out of proportion.

What do y’all think chicas?

 

Fusion…and I’m not talking food November 18, 2010

Filed under: Home life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 4:28 pm
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“You complete me?  I don’t think so playa!”

I can’t wait to hear what you guys think of this statement!  I don’t want to jade you toward my way of thinking, but I was shocked when I read this article on Simple Marriage titled, “The biggest marriage killer” (this is just an excerpt, you can click that link to read the whole thing):

“When you first met your spouse, ideally you were both living interesting and fulfilling lives. These lives were an important part of what made you attractive to each other. But often, as your relationship progresses with each other, you let go of what used to be important and fulfilling to you for the sake of the relationship.

When this happens it creates two problems.

  1. You are each no longer the person the other was originally attracted to.
  2. As each of you give up important things in your life, you often expect the other person to fill the void. This is a heavy burden to place on any one person. It creates neediness and dependency, as well as resentment and boredom.

One of the biggest killers of passion in marriage is all the meaningless time spouses spend together. And it is actually this type of tensionless coexistence that defines most marriages today.

You need to live an interesting, fulfilling life beyond your intimate relationship.

Marriage should be two mature people who take responsibility for getting their own needs met both with each other and from numerous other sources.

While I firmly believe you should keep all of your sexual energy within the marriage, I also believe you should keep doing all of the interesting things you were doing before you met your spouse (or enjoy doing without your spouse).

Great marriages are the result of two mature, grown up people – both of whom have full, satisfying lives – cooperating with each other to get their needs met. In this kind of differentiated relationship, each spouse compliments the other, but doesn’t complete them.”

I loved reading this, because I always felt badly for being an independent married lady…like that was somehow a paradox or something.  I had my stuff when I met The Mister and I still have my stuff.  Now don’t mistake this for me playing the hard role, I still get geeked like a little puppy when I hear his key in the door (my baby’s home! my baby’s home!), but we’re both good doing our stuff.  Then we come home and we’re together and enjoy each others company.  I wanted a husband and not a homegirl or roommate…can I get an amen?!