The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

Groceries from January 19, 2011

Filed under: Saving money — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:04 pm
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Okay people, I’m back from my existential blogging break (what am I blogging for? does anyone care? what’s the point?)…nice to see you again!

I just found out that you can subscribe to receive items from on a regular basis…it’s called subscribe and save.  It’s kind of a crazy deal!  I actually was looking for fiber pills (yes, I’m old) and stumbled upon it…and was able to save (more than the savings you usually get from amazon) a lot of loot.

I feel like I’m a salesman for them (I’m not…but I can be bought, lol!) but I think it’s a great program.  You sign up to receive items at a regular interval you choose (every one, two, three, or six months) and your card is charged when the items are shipped.

You can get groceries, toilet paper, diapers, makeup, office supplies…all sorts of stuff!  They even have organic foods.

Anyhoo, I thought that this would be a cool way to save some loot.  You should check it out!


I resolve… January 1, 2011

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:16 pm
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I’ve only got two resolutions.  So without further ado *ahem*:  in 2011, I resolve:

  1. To save money. I’m not saying that I’m a money-grubber, but I want to have loads of loot for when The Mister and I get old.  I mean baller-type money.  Why?  Because I want to have money for our kids’ college education so that they can start their life without debt.  Because I want us to be comfortable and be able to travel without worry.  Because I want to leave my/his/our families money when we pass away.

    That’s easier said that done though, right?  It will mean less eating out, more nights in, using the library rather than going to Borders (one of my lifelong dreams is having a library in my house, so this is a tough one), taking my lunch every day, buying less meat, less clothes & shoes shopping.  That’s a very uncomfortable list of things that need to occur, but (as my boy Dave Ramsey says) we’ve got to lead an uncommon life now so that when we’re old, we can live an uncommon life–of comfort and wealth.

  2. To be less selfish. As amazingly wonderful and awesome as I am, I’m pretty selfish sometimes.  I’ve heard folks say that marriage is God’s way of making you a better person and I couldn’t agree more…it’s just painful sometimes.  One of my girlfriends asked why people say that marriage is hard work and I told her it’s because you realize how cruddy you are sometimes.  A good example is when The Mister and I have a tiff, I always talk about myself and my feelings…and I may eventually work around to finding out how he feels.  That’s no good because that means that I’m making him someone who’s just there to please me and make me happy.  And when he doesn’t, I’m pissy.

    Remember I’m a church girl, so I’ve got a great book that I had laying around that said something profound:  There is a false sense of self-protection in harboring an offense.  It keeps you from seeing your own character flaws because the blame is deferred to another.  You never have to face your role, your immaturity, or your sin because you see only the faults of the offender.  Therefore, God’s attempt to develop character in you by this opposition is now abandoned.

So that’s what I’ve got…to be the best wifey I can be for The Mister and to set us up to be kazillionaires in our old age.  What are your resolutions?  Even if you don’t believe in them, are there things you want to work on this year?


Money: pile it, eat it, or bury it? September 19, 2010

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 2:03 pm
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It’s that time of the year…squirrels everywhere.  I mean everywhere!  And I just think they are too cute.  Whenever I walk around, I see squirrels darting around, eating acorns, burying acorns, saving acorns…they are on a mission.  And I can’t be the only one who wants to run around after them, right?  I love watching them and seeing their cute, furry little tails flicking in the air.

But they got me to thinking the other day that I need to be more like them.  I’m a saver by nature, but I’ve gotten away from it since the wedding.  Pre-wedding, I had five figures saved up for a rainy day (because I’m inexplicably worried about said day of rain), but post-wedding?  I’ve only got a couple pennies clanging around in there.  The Mister and I have to get to work and be like those squirrels!  We should still be able to spend some money like the squirrels still eat their acorns…but they never stop putting nuts away for the future.  Some of our money has to be buried in investments and annuities not to be touched for a while, but some of it has to be piled up (still using our squirrel metaphor here folks) in a savings account for easy access.

I think we’ve got a plan together, but this is a tough time to start thinking about saving.  Just coming off of our wedding and honeymoon…and Christmas is literally right around the corner.  *sigh*  What do you and your honey do about rainy days?


two months in July 28, 2010

Filed under: Building a life — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:25 am
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The Mister and I have been married for two whole months now!  So many people say that their relationship isn’t much different after the big day, but I think ours is.  Now I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but here’s what I’ve learned so far:

Marriage is work So many people said that to me before the wedding and I just assumed they meant finding time to do the nasty or for having fun.  Since we’d just gotten married, I figured we wouldn’t have to worry about the “work” of marriage for a while.  But what I’ve learned (and maybe this will change as we’re married longer) is that the work is on me…and it’s uncomfortable.  I pray everyday that I can be the wife that The Mister needs me to be and that means I can’t selfishly walk through life anymore.  I’ve learned that his way is sometimes (as hard as it is to admit) the best way.  I’ve learned that biting my tongue is harder than that statistics class I took in college…and so much more applicable to life!  As it said in my Strong Willed Wife book, I don’t have to say everything that pops into my head.

Marriage feels good I don’t care how long you’ve dated, if you lived together before, whatever…being married is great.  I does feel different and in a very good way.  You and your husband declared not just your love, but your commitment, in front of your friends and family…that’s a game changer folks!  I feel so connected to The Mister, like it’s us against the world.  We were talking about work stuff this week and our goals and I just got so fired up…I couldn’t even sleep that night.  It’s like God had a plan for us all along and He’s slowly revealing it and the way The Mister and I fit together (he’s strong where I’m weak, and vice versa), we could really do some wonderful things together.

Marriage takes time I know you’re thinking…ummm, what?  Not the actual marriage, of course, but everything else.  Getting your name changed and social security cards and drivers licenses and insurance and bank accounts.  It takes time to wrap your brain around not being solo, to fully let go of “my stuff” and make it “our stuff”.  Before we got married, I just figured that we’d have an yours, mine, and ours financial situation and I figured out immediately that it wouldn’t work for us.  I didn’t feel like we were married in our finances.  The first of the month came around and both of us would pull out our respective checkbooks and go to work…there was no cooperation or working together or discussing goals for our loot.  Part of it was logistics since we left so quickly for our honeymoon, so now that things have settled down, we’re working hard to marry our finances as well.

How is your married life different than when you were flying solo?  How have you guys handled your marriage speed bumps?


tlc May 14, 2010

Filed under: Conspiracy theories — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:38 pm
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So I don’t have cable.  So I don’t get to watch these shows most times…except when I stay in a hotel.  Which I am now.  I’m amazed at these shows (not that I’m gonna  stop watching!) and the extravagance, the crazy expectations, the stupefying budgets.  I’m not going to get on my soapbox here, but I wonder how much these bridal shops are slipping TLC to get brides and brides-to-be thinking that a “cheap” dress costs $3,000?  And how much are the designers slipping the bridal shops to be featured on television?  Just wondering.


Weddzilla post April 30, 2010

Filed under: Details,Weddzilla — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:05 am
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I was excited about how our invitations turned out.  They were unique, classy, and fun.  You can click over here to see how they turned out and how we saved money.


are you average?

Filed under: Saving money — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:48 am
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Remember I’d told you that I did a speech for my Toastmasters group about how to have a classy, but frugal, wedding?  Well, I actually looked up some numbers when doing some research for that speech and found some interesting stats about what makes a wedding “average” in America.

  • The average engagement is 17 months (Ours will be ten.)
  • Most dudes are spending $4,400 for their ladies’ engagement ring.  (Whoa.)
  • $31,000 is the average amount spent on weddings, not including honeymoons (I have to remind myself not to be judgey here just because I think that that’s a crazy amount of money.  There are probably folks who think that the ten thousand we’re spending is insanity.)
  • Most wedding dresses?  $1,500.  (Again, I won’t be judgey even though that’s nutty for one outfit…and that’s all it is ladies, an outfit.  FYI…my dress cost $100.)
  • Photography comes in at about $2,300.  (I immediately fell into a vendor-crush with the first photographer that I met with…his photos were amazing, I was feeling his vibe, he and his wife were partners and I thought that was cool, and he had this amazing home office.  I love, love, loved him!!  But he wanted $2,400 for everything that we wanted, plus an extra $200 for engagement photos.  Heartbroken.  The Mister came to the rescue though with a great photog that we both get along with well…and he’s about $1,400 cheaper.)
  • Most people are spending around $2,000 on flowers. (We’ll end up spending about $700, which is still a lot of money for flowers.  I swallow hard every time I think about that one…but I know I’ll love the final result.)
  • The average reception is $14,000.  (Really?!  That’s a boatload of money!  I wonder if I had an extra 14k lying around, if I’d even spend it on a reception…and what does that buy?  Caviar?  Moet?  Those guests better be leaving that reception saying it’s the best thing they’ve ever been to or ever done!)

So are you average?  Did you have any vendor crushes that never came to fruition?  Are you buying stuff that you really, really want, but still makes you wince when you look at the budget line?  Are you sticking to your budget?


weddzilla post April 18, 2010

Filed under: Weddzilla — Happy Nappy Bride @ 5:28 pm
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I’ll bet people told you that you have to invite folks to your wedding as a pair or you have awful etiquette and will go to wedding Hell.  Well, that’s not what Martha says…and I think we all know that Martha’s on top of it!  Don’t believe me?  Check this out!


weddzilla post April 13, 2010

Filed under: Weddzilla — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:27 am
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Did you know that, according to my calculations, Blacks and Hispanics have spent over 566 billion dollars on weddings?  Did you know that it’s still pretty hard to find representation of those same folks in wedding magazines and popular wedding blogs…even though they’re spending all of that money?  Wanna read more?  Then go on over here.


I shouldn’t be telling you about this… March 24, 2010

Filed under: Saving money — Happy Nappy Bride @ 12:32 pm
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…because it’s totally going to ruin my chances of winning!  But have you heard about Target’s proposal story contest?  Well, where have you been?!  Go on over here and check it out…you could get a $3500 gift card out of the deal.  I’m sure the contest is just a trojan horse that will get them access to my address and email, but hey, it worked.  I want that card!

(And no, I’m not getting anything from Target for telling you guys about this…but I’ll take something if the Target people wanna break me off a little piece, lol!)