The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

big day earrings March 16, 2010

Filed under: Details — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:53 am
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I used to wear earrings all of the time.  I work in a male dominated field and they were an easy way for me to assert my girliness.  But I’ve gotten lazy lately and don’t go thru the trouble…perhaps it’s my engagement ring that makes that whole “girly” statement for me now.  I do love earrings though and I love studs or small dangly ones…nothing gigantic or anything.

I was over at Etsy (of course) and decided to bop around on the site to see what they had for me.  I like all of these so any of them will work…let me know what you think.   The first is very “me”, ivory flower with nice detail:

I really like these goldish drops, though  I do worry (with both of these) about the gold color.  I’m wearing silver shoes to the wedding and switching to gold for the reception…wondering about the clash:

Then I got to thinking about my “something blue” and thought that maybe that could be the earrings…here are a couple of options.  These are my least fave of the two blues:

And these:

All of these earrings are under $20 which sounds just about right.  Well, which do you think?  Maybe no one will notice gold earrings with silver shoes and I’m just making a big deal about nothing.


card box March 15, 2010

Filed under: Details — Happy Nappy Bride @ 3:27 pm
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This is something I hadn’t thought about DIYing, but now after looking at a few I might give it a whirl.  Here are my top three faves:

I think this one from Target is nice, but it’s $40…that seems a bit much for something I won’t have much use for after the wedding:

These next two are from Etsy and maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like I can go to Hobby Lobby and buy a box and some paint and hook this up:

This one is my favorite…but again, I think I can buy some wallpaper and ribbon and a box and make this myself for less than $45:

So what do you think?  I’m not super crafty, but I feel like this is a reasonable project…this shouldn’t lead to frustration should it?


gottas vs. wannas March 13, 2010

Filed under: Community — Happy Nappy Bride @ 4:58 pm
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So these are coupons that I keep with me all the time just in case I go to a store and they’ve got the same thing on sale…then I can double up on the savings!  Yeah, I’m cheap.  Which is why all of this wedding spending is a bit disconcerting.

I’ve been pretty proud of how good I’ve been with our money that’s going to the wedding…but then I think about the fact that “good” is going to end up around $10k.  For one day.  That’s mind boggling.  I know that I’ve gotten good deals and worked that budget of ours, but still…it’s one day.  Sometimes I get a little too high on my horse and start thinking about how silly it would be to spend $30, $40, or $50 thousand dollars on a wedding…then I think about my “budget” wedding that’s gonna be around ten.  Not exactly a drop in the bucket.

And that’s the unifying thing of all brides.  Whether you can’t get enough of talking about tulle and ribbons and out of town bags or you want to get married in a park under a tree…we still believe in the power of the ceremony, the power of having our family and friends surround us and support us.  Because in all honesty we just need a groom, an officiant, and a marriage licence and we can be on our way for about a hundred bucks.  That’s the gotta have.

The wanna haves are different.  You wanna have a nice dress…you don’t have to have a slammin’, expensive dress.  You wanna have your friends and family there.  You wanna have everyone in your family act right for just one day…please, lol!

Then there are wanna haves that are different for each bride.  You wanna have bridesmaids, a photographer.  You wanna have good food and drink and a dj that’ll have everyone sweating at the end of the night.  Or maybe you wanna have cake or to get your makeup done professionally.  You wanna have a weekend festival of activities or a big rehearsal dinner.  Perhaps you wanna have aisle runners and uplighting and floor decals.  Some of you may wanna get married in a beautiful park or a gorgeous cathedral.

So we’re all in the same boat…all of us are planning the largest event that we’ve ever been in charge of and fighting “the others”, like on Lost.  “The Others” are those folks who just know how our weddings should be.  We should be stressed right now.  We should get our hair done a certain way, wear a certain dress.  We should decorate our ceremony venue like this and the bridesmaids should definitely do that.  “The Others” tell us with conviction that we should wear certain shoes, earrings, necklaces and look at us crazy when we tell them the one thing that really makes us happy about our wedding plans.  “The Others” have one more thing in common.  I don’t care whether you’re spending a grip or just a bit, “The Others” have big advice to give…but no loot.  All that talking but they aren’t trying to come up offa that money to put their “shoulds” into action!

So ladies let’s stand firm with our wannas and don’t let people make you feel badly about them!  What are your wannas?  Have folks questioned your decisions?  Have you wavered because of that questioning?


invitation deets March 4, 2010

Filed under: Details — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:41 am
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Okay folks, here are the details on our invitations.  I just started addressing them today, so I figured I’d take a few pics.  I assume that after the wedding, I’ll give all of the financial info, but here’s the general process we went through:

  • Got a local graphic designer to design STD’s, invite, reply card, and thank you’s.
  • Ordered paper and envelopes online at Paper and More, which I’d highly recommend! They were amazing.  You can order samples and they’re only $1 a sheet/envelope.  We probably ordered 15 sheets of paper before we settled on the gold linen cardstock that we chose.  And probably five or six envelopes before we settled on a copper metallic and brown metallic.  And they come very quickly, if you’re doing your invites yourself, I’d recommend this company.  We’ll use the extra paper not used for the invitations & thank you’s for programs and reception signage.
  • Ordered card insert from Vista Print to indicate number of invitees.
  • Ordered address labels for the reply cards…can’t remember where we got those.
  • Took the design to Kinko’s and they ran everything off in about a day.

I know that we saved tons of money doing it this way and they were custom, which I wanted.  Now without further ado, here are our invitations.  Actually, I want to show you the inspiration from my idea book that I put together.  This was important for a couple of reasons: our invites are different and having this clipping legitimized the design…plus, the cost is on there ($4k/100) and I can be like, at least I didn’t spend that kind of money!

Here’s how ours turned out.  I took the pic on my kitchen table so it’s probably not the best background, but you get the idea:

The bottom three (reply card & envelope, plus the invite card) all go together.  Maybe if you click on the pick, you’ll see that there’s lots of hearts on there…very cute.  Plus it’s a Memorial weekend wedding, so the colors reflect that as well.  Here’s a close up…hopefully you can see the metallic paper and envelopes.  The Mister and I really liked the metallic effect…adds some punch to the invite and makes them look a little less casual.

Since the envelopes and paper have a metallic gold tint to them, I used a metallic gold marker to write the addresses.  This was no small feat, by the way.  I went to Staples and bought a lot of markers that did not work.  When folks are putting together their final budget numbers, stuff like this should be included, because when you DIY things there’s lots of trial and error…and that usually means money.  Here’s the winner, ended up ordering it online at an art supply site:

Ugh…there are those jacked up nails of mine again!  Anyway, here’s another shot of the stamps as well.  The gold heart is going on the copper metallic (reply) envelope and the dancers are going on the brown metallic envelope.

So now you can see why my mom said that the invitations were “interesting” and that “people sure will be talking about these”…they’re different.  But we both really like them…they’re classy casual just like the two of us.

Have you gotten your invitations made up yet?  How early are you sending yours?  I’d like to get ours out within the next couple of weeks and that should put us around the two months to go point.  Is your hubby-to-be helping with the addressing?  I didn’t even ask The Mister.  I can look at something he’s written for a solid minute or two and still have no clue that those marks are even letters, let alone words, lol!


this bud’s for you February 14, 2010

Filed under: Saving money — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:54 am
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I heart flowers.  I know it’s cliche, me being female and all, but I do.  They’re pretty, they smell good…they make me smile.  There was a guy at work who said he won’t get his wife flowers because they’ll just die and I was like, do you just eat rice and beans because “it’s all going to the same place” or do you like a nice steak or shrimp dinner every now and then? So I love Valentine’s Day because of the flowers.  The other day, my mom sent me these tulips:

So pretty and she sent a cute note about the next time I have pretty flowers in my hand will be on May 28th…she’s pretty fired up.  Then The Mister gave me some roses:

For our wedding, The Mister and I (or should I say the bridesmaids and I) will be doing our own flowers.  Since I love flowers so much, I knew I couldn’t afford the amount and quality of flowers that I desired by going through a florist, so I’m going through a wholesaler.  I’ll be able to do four bouquets, seven boutonnieres, six corsages, flowers for the chuppah, and all reception flowers (I wrote about it a bit here as well) for about $600.  Which, for our budget, is a lot, but like I said…I love flowers.  Here’s the flower breakdown:

  • 100 stems of roses ($60)
  • 60 stems of freesia ($60)
  • 6 blooms of gardenia for the corsages ($24)
  • 50 stems of sweet pea ($40)
  • 125 blooms of daisy mums ($30)
  • 50 stems of poms ($60)
  • 28 stems of lisianthus ($72)
  • a whole lot of baby’s breath ($24)
  • a whole lot of statice sinuata, another filler ($16)
  • a whole lot of ruscus, greenery ($39)

Ladies have been asking me what my bridal bouquet will look like…I tell them that I don’t know, I figure I’ll wing it when I see the flowers and put together a bouquet that strikes my fancy.  Those ladies look at me with pity…sometimes they giggle.  I miss the joke.  I also don’t know what the bridesmaids bouquets will look like, they can choose from the selection as well.  I kinda think that the boutonnieres will be similar but not necessarily exactly the same…I’m taking a class on how to arrange flowers, hopefully that helps..  The chuppah and reception flowers will be made up after that.  Seems simple enough to me.

But those ladies keep giving me that look.


what would you do? February 12, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:33 am
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Most of us are having sensible weddings, maybe not trying to be as tight, cheap, stingy, frugal as we are…but keeping track of the pennies nonetheless.  What would you do if you were this couple who just won $50,000 for their wedding?:

You can read their story over at Weddzilla.  What would change about your own wedding?  How would your mindset change?  Would you get a different dress?  Nicer stationary?  What things that got nixed due to funds would get added back on?

I don’t know what perimeters were put on them, but I’d fly in folks participating in the wedding if I would’ve won that contest.  They’re all coming from all over…bridesmaids (2 Floridas and an Arizona), my bro and his fam are in Texas and my mom is in Michigan.  If I could save them that loot, I’d feel good about it.

Less altruistically, I’d be less worried about our bar tab, so we’d go full open bar rather than limited…and kick in for cabs or shuttles or whatnot.  Maybe rent a Bentley or something for The Mister and I to get from the chapel to the reception site.  My gifts for those participating the wedding would be off the chain!

Think about it for a second…what would you do if someone gave you $50k that you had to spend for your wedding?


tip of the hat February 11, 2010

Filed under: Saving money — Happy Nappy Bride @ 4:05 pm
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I can’t be the only one who’s heard about tipping your vendors and wondered if people are really doing this.  I can’t remember where I found this screen shot (you can click on it to make it bigger), but I was looking around about tips and this popped up.  Are you guys doing this much tipping?

For us, it’d come out like this:

Bar: $100

Waitstaff: $40

Reception site manager: $210-$280

DJ: $25

Caterer: $300-$400

So between $575 – $745 just on tips!!!   Wha?!!!  That’ll throw a wrench in the ole budget!

Am I the only cheap person that thinks that this is crazy?  What would your tip totals be?