The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

The Royal Wedding November 30, 2010

Filed under: Advice — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:43 pm
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I’ll admit to not knowing if the wedding blog world is all atwitter with news of the royal wedding…I just assume it is.  In all honesty, I stopped looking at wedding planning blogs after our big day.  More power to you if you’re one of those ladies who decided to create a business around the wedding industry…I was over it by the time our day came and went.  I can’t imagine the singular obsession over small details that is about to take place…it will be surreal, for sure!

There’s actually a William & Kate wedding tracking website…that was started back in 2008!  Omg, what did those people talk about for two years?!  So you can only imagine how it will be now that there’s an actual wedding to talk about!!

I don’t talk about all of this to add to the noise, but to say: imagine being Kate.  Let’s do a rundown:

  • You’re marrying into royalty.
  • Your future hubbie’s parents had the wedding of all wedding that captivated the whole world!
  • Every detail will be scrutinized…from the food choices to the colors to the favors.
  • People will look to every thing you do…many of the things you do will be mimicked by brides across the globe.

There’s probably so much more.  But ladies, think back to your planning.  About all the snide comments that you had to shake off, the worries you had about your weight, your makeup, all of it.  I know we all want to say how awful the WIC is for making us feel crappy about the way we look and the things we do…but in this case, how could she not feel pressure?!  What a weight to carry!

So what would you do?  Would you even have said yes to the prince?  How would you handle the expectations of an entire country and the interest of the entire world?  How would you stay sane in this situation?


Recaps: working out June 13, 2010

Filed under: Post wedding — Happy Nappy Bride @ 5:52 pm
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I had plans of working out during the week of the wedding…I even put it on my timeline for the “week of”.  Clearly I was delusional.  But two weeks out, I was still working it out like a rock star.  At that point, I needed to workout to get the nervous energy out.  Ladies, I know you love your man…you think he’s the bees knees, right?  So do I, but I was getting nervous as all get out!  So that week I got after it.

I also had manual labor to do around the house.  Like I said, my house was wedding central.  Not just because I was the bride, but because I’m not from here, so literally everyone I know was from out of town.  So lots of folks were gonna be around…not to mention the bridal shower my maid of honor (also from out of town) was hosting at my place the Wednesday before our Friday wedding.

Anyhoo, back to the manual labor.  Last summer, I put in three large flower beds at my house and they’re gorgeous.  I’m really proud of them because I put them in myself with a shovel and hoe…no machines did my work for me.  The only problem with beautiful flower beds is that they also get weeds and two weeks before the wedding, the weeds were winning the battle.  So I got to work and it took four hours in each bed to weed and groom them…seriously.

As crazy as all of that weeding was, it was great for me.  I got a chance to be by myself, in my own head, relax, think about the wedding, not think about the wedding…it was awesome.  These were some of my last moments of solitude and they were wonderful.  I think when you’re coordinating your own wedding, the week of will be pure craziness, but try to find time in that second to last week to take care of you.  Read books, watch movies, work out…whatever you need to do to get your mind right.  I’d also plan lots of time with your boo, because the week of the wedding you’re gonna be MIA.


Weddingese May 23, 2010

Filed under: Pre-wedding — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:34 pm
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So I’ve spent the majority of our engagement period trying not to become obsessed with weddings and wedding planning.  I didn’t want to be one of those ladies who stop speaking English promptly upon getting engaged.   You know who I’m talking about…those that take up Weddingese as their first language.

You: hey how’s it going?
Bride: oh my god, planning this wedding is going to be so cumbersome!

You: did you watch the final episode of Lost tonight?
Bride: no way I’ve got time to watch television, planning a wedding is so time consuming!

You: can you believe that Boston has done Cleveland and Orlando like this?!
Bride: what…are those the most popular places to get married or something?

Unfortunately during the week of the wedding, it seems unavoidable not to be all wedding all the time.  My mom’s in town and she’s fired up about the wedding, my house is getting prepped for the bridal shower (lots of weeding of the flower beds!), we did a lot of shopping today for The Mister and his peeps (gifts, ties, etc.), and I am singularly focused on my  to-do list.

It’s fun though and I’m trying my best to enjoy it like everyone says I should do.  Five days and I’ll be getting married to the best guy ever…woo hoo!!


I get by with a little help from my friends May 20, 2010

Filed under: Community — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:25 pm
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My friends have been pretty amazing with all of this wedding stuff.

  • When I posted up pics of the yard sign I wanted for our reception, one of my bridesmaids offered up she and her boyfriend’s services to create one for us.
  • When I said we were gonna do our own flowers, my maid of honor started meeting with a florist so that our flowers look superfly.
  • Another couple of work friends lent me a mess of buckets that we’ll put the flowers in once they’re delivered.  It went like this:  Hey can I use those buckets for my wedding? Which buckets?  The ones that are super full of stuff that would be very annoying to have to move. Sure!
  • I asked a coworker if she’d help me build a chuppah.  After looking it up to see what the heck I was talking about, we (by which I mean, she) spent an hour this morning mixing cement for the base.
  • I’d sent out an preliminary itinerary a few months ago and my sis-in-law was the one who had the nerve to tell me that said schedule was insane.
  • I gave my other bridesmaid the email addresses of my sorority sisters so that she can set up the singing of our Sweetheart Song…she didn’t bat an eye.  Just prayed that they know how to sing.  I don’t think they do.
  • I totally forgot to ask another coworker about a stand mixer that my mom’s gonna need to make her awesome cheesecakes, so I just texted earlier today.  No problem.
  • Not to mention the two ladies that I work with who offered themselves up to be our day of coordinators before I even knew what that meant or knew to ask.

What I’m finding out is that when people say they want to help…they really do.  It’s pretty overwhelming, I’m not going to lie.  These same folks are spending money on outfits, plane tickets, hotel rooms, car reservations, gifts, etc.  Yet they’re still on the “what can I do?” train.

If this is what weddings do to people, I want more of it!


fantasy April 27, 2010

Filed under: Staying sane — Happy Nappy Bride @ 10:55 am
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On July 25th, when The Mister asked me to marry him, the whole wedding thing seemed like it was sooo far away.  All of the planning wasn’t really real, because the wedding was sooo far away.  Well now it’s only thirty one days away (!!) and the fantasy’s gone and the work has started.  No more looking at blogs and magazines for inspiration or to drool over other people’s weddings.  Now it’s about getting RSVP cards back, sending out invites for the rehearsal din din, working with my maid of honor (who’s out of state like all of my fam) on the bridal shower, vendor meetings, watching my savings account dwindle…the nuts and bolts of planning a big shindig.

Now I’m just sitting back and hoping that all of that planning will pan out…that folks have a good time, drink lots of beer, shake their collective tails, and eat until their bellies pop.  I also hope that I don’t sweat too much, cry too much, or drink too much.

That’s not too much to ask is it?  Has your fantasy collided with reality yet?


Mostly because it’s inappropriate… April 17, 2010

Filed under: Staying sane — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:34 pm
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…I can’t cuss out people who give me crap about how we’re planning our wedding.  So I re-read this and take many, many (many!) deep breaths.


Things… April 7, 2010

Filed under: Staying sane — Happy Nappy Bride @ 5:45 pm
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…I’ve been told I can’t do lately:

  • my own hair (“this ain’t the country”)
  • my own makeup (“you need a professional”)
  • wear a short wedding dress (I am)
  • buy said dress all by myself (I did)
  • buy said dress all by myself on the first weekend after we  got engaged (oh yes I did!)
  • have fun invitations (I’ve gotten nothing but compliments)
  • have a local and organic reception (we are!)
  • serve good beer, wine, and liquor cheaply (we figured it out playa)
  • have an engagement ring that’s not a diamond (I do and I love it)
  • stay sane while planning a wedding (why not?)
  • stay sane and obsess all at the same time (again…I’ve figured it out playa, lol!)
  • keep from freaking The Mister out with my wedding crazy (so far, so good)
  • be happy with whatever folks want to do in terms of their hair, makeup, and accessories (they’re all grown folks, right?)
  • be in the moment (this one is hard, I’ll admit…but I try hard everyday)

What have you been told you can’t do in terms of your wedding planning?


weddzilla post March 25, 2010

Filed under: Weddzilla — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:49 am
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I don’t know if you knew this, but (and this may surprise you) an actual marriage takes place after the wedding.  I know…crazy, right?!  So, armed with that knowledge, The Mister and I have been going thru premarital workbooks.  It’s great, sometimes we feel good after it…sometimes not so much.  But we’re always happy that the book made us talk about the hard stuff.  I wrote about it over here.


step in the name of love February 18, 2010

Filed under: Black weddings — Happy Nappy Bride @ 2:28 pm
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(Pic is clip art from MS Word)

So I’ve told you that me and The Mister have been going through the pre-marital books and it’s good because it makes us talk about stuff we really don’t want to talk about.  But for my money, the best counseling is taking dance lessons.

The Mister and I went to a stepper’s ball on Valentine’s Day.  Like  “Step in the Name of Love” stepping.  But folks around here would call it Chicago-style stepping and will stop talking to you if you were like, “oh, you mean like R. Kelly?”…but it is.  Anyhoo, before the ball, they had lessons.  We went and we were awful, lol!  I’ve watched grown folks step all my life, but never learned.  We both thought it would be pretty cool if we could do some stepping at the reception.  But if that first lesson was any indication, we’ll have to nix that plan!

Stepping is a partner dance and like most, the man leads the show.  Well, Ms. Bossy here (ahem) had a bit of trouble with that.  So, the dance lessons showed me that I need to relax and let someone else run the show sometimes.  We also got to work on our communication skills, because we didn’t want to offend each other by saying the other was terrible…or not doing it right…or not on beat…whatever.  Plus, we were bad together.  I know that sounds funny, but it’s not like I was some great shakes and he was stumbling all over the place or vice versa.  We were able to bond over how badly we were dancing!

At the end of the night, I was so fired up to go to another class, because it was good couple time.  Has anyone experienced this?  Are you doing a special dance at your reception?  Have you taken lessons?


nailed down February 16, 2010

Filed under: Details — Happy Nappy Bride @ 2:58 pm
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These, my friends and neighbors, are my jacked up nails.  *sigh*

Dreadful, I know.  I don’t take care of them at all…I pluck at my cuticles, pick off any weird hang-y skin, and don’t even bother to file the nails themselves.  The most I do is to use clippers when they get unruly.  Even though in the summertime, I’ll get pedicures every two weeks, I don’t get manicures.  At work, I’m always using my hands and at home, I’m always in water or something non-conducive to pretty nails.

And this picture is the left hand which gets the expert work of my right hand, the other hand looks much worse…I’m not ambidextrous.

On the very rare condition that I have gotten a manicure, I just get the nails buffed so that there’s no nail polish to flake off immediately after it’s been put on.  I figure there’ll be pics of my hands during the wedding and reception, right?  And the state of my nails just won’t do, right?  How long do you think it’ll take to whip my hands into shape?