The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

I heart The Mister April 23, 2010

Filed under: Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 1:07 pm
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I was thinking the other day about The Mister and I and how three years ago when I moved here, I never would’ve guessed that I would be getting married to such a great guy.  And when I think back to those first initial dates, I just think about the things that we had in common that made my radar go up like, hmmmm…maybe?

They were the things that dudes usually tolerated but  The Mister and I had them in common.  Like listening to talk radio.  I always get crap from people about it, but I love NPR or sports talk.  When I moved from New York to Texas, I drove and I listened to talk radio the entire time…no joke, not one song.  I’ll never forget the first time I got into The Mister’s car and he had sports talk on…I was so stoked.  It sounds small, but it really wasn’t.  Not having cable was another “make me go hmmm” thing.  People always either laughed at me because I didn’t have cable or called me cheap or some combination of both.  But guess what happened when I showed up at The Mister’s house for the first time?  That’s right…no cable!  But the biggest thing was the diversity of people he called friends.  They weren’t all Black and that was a big deal.  Because of the life I lead, a lot of my friends are from varied backgrounds and not only was he cool with that…his friends were just the same.  We’ve got similar attitudes about religion and politics and those were all things that made a little voice in the back of my head think that maybe, just maybe, this dude was the one.

So as we get closer to our wedding date, I sometimes find myself looking at him and smiling.  Of course he’s like, what are you smiling at and I just say nothing and keep smiling.  I’m smiling because he’s awesome.  I’m smiling because I call myself blessed for being loved by him.  I’m smiling because he’s a good guy and I love him a whole bunch.

When did you know your guy was the one?  How did you know?


wedding crazy-part deux April 22, 2010

Filed under: Staying sane — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:55 am
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Yesterday I wrote about fighting the financial wedding crazy that says that the “average” wedding costs $31,000.  But there’s the other side to the wedding crazy…us, lol!  Now we’re all trying to save money, be frugal, stay sane, keep things in perspective, yada, yada, yada.  But…you know you got a little kooky after your dude asked you to marry him.

Wedding crazy is a special kind of crazy.  It’s what happens to otherwise normal and well-adjusted ladies when we get engaged.  An abridged list of symptoms include insatiable desire to buy and read wedding magazines, an odd obsession with stationary and stamps, an ever-growing list of wedding blogs that are on your daily list, an annoying indecisiveness about nonsensical and unimportant things like tulle and napkins and ribbons, and an unnerving vanity about hair, makeup, shoes, and other whatnots.  The only cure as I can see it is the actual wedding, but starting a blog has helped me stave off the crazy.  I’ve got a guy friend who’s getting married this weekend and his fiancee has scared him with her wedding crazy…he looked visibly scared this week, lol!

I try to limit the wedding talk around The Mister because I don’t want him to freak out, but now that we’re about a month out I think it’s gonna be inevitable.   What are you doing to fight the wedding crazy?


wedding bands April 11, 2010

Filed under: Details — Happy Nappy Bride @ 4:14 pm
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After church today, The Mister and I went looking for wedding bands.  The timing wasn’t great, after church is usually naptime.  Or rather, grab some food and then catch a nap-time.  But since we’re kinda running out of time, I figured we should get on it.  We went to four different jewelers just to get an idea of what he’d like and these are our top choices as of now:

Our fave:

Runner up…hammered gold:

This one’s different…maybe too different:

What do you think?  The Mister’s got incredibly large fingers (size 15!) so that limits some of what we can do in terms of rings.  He was pretty thoughtful about the whole process which was pretty cool.  He’d try on a ton of rings, ask a lot of questions, ask about sale prices…I was impressed!  I tried to stand back and let him run the show and not be too bossy and I like the choices that he came up with.

Now I just want to check online to see if I can beat the prices those folks quoted me before I drop the kind of cash they were talking.  Have you and your dude gone looking for rings yet?  How was he during the process?


the problem dude’s have February 12, 2010

Filed under: Marriage — Happy Nappy Bride @ 1:05 pm
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When the Sex and the City movie came out, I drug The Mister to it and he was legitimately the only guy there.  Whoops.  I liked the movie for the same reason that most ladies did…pretty clothes, pretty shoes, witty banter.  Plus, Carrie was getting married and that was so cool, even though I would’ve rather she’d married Aiden.

Anyhoo, after watching the movie (well before we got engaged), The Mister’s like “see, you ladies get all wedding crazy…it’s like you don’t even care who you’re marrying, just that you’re getting married.”  For those of you who didn’t see the movie (really?), Carrie got a little nutty with wedding planning and kinda forgot about Mr. Big.  He started getting stressed because he worried that she just wanted a wedding.  All he wanted was a life partner…not an extravaganza disguised as a wedding.

I wonder if that’s every guy’s worry…that they’re just filling in a spot.  Even though a lot of us haven’t, I think guys still think that we’ve all been dreaming about weddings since we were little girls.  That doesn’t leave much room for him to feel special, that we wouldn’t have said yes to some other schmo who asked us to marry him.

I wonder if this is why I’m trying to be so laid back about the wedding planning…I don’t want The Mister to think that I don’t value what our life will be together.  That it’s all about the wedding and not the marriage.

Check out this post by a woman who’s about to marry a man who’s on his third marriage (like Mr. Big!) and isn’t all that fired up about the details…and she’s not happy about it.  Sidenote: The Mister and I just went through a chapter of one of our premarital books and one thing that we both agreed on…don’t complain about me/us to other folks.