The Happy Nappy Bride

About weddings. About relationships. About the first year of being married.

recaps: organization June 12, 2010

Filed under: Post wedding — Happy Nappy Bride @ 8:48 pm
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When The Mister and I were going thru the various airports involved with getting to and from our honeymoon, I told him that I’m super forgetful and that’s why I generally write lists for everything and was currently checking for my passport and boarding pass on a level some would call “compulsive”.  When he asked how I figured out I was forgetful, I told him that I got a lot of whuppins when I was younger.  Seriously.  It’d go something like this:

Mom/Dad:  Dawn, go clean up your room please.
Me:  okay! *continuing to watch TV*
Mom/Dad:  didn’t we just tell you to clean up your room? *alerting me to oncoming danger by the edge in their voice*
Me: oh right, I’m going right now!  *continuing to watch TV and missing that voice thing*
Mom/Dad:  girl, you better get in your room and clean it up!! *hard stare*
Me: okay! *walk to room, forget I’m supposed to be cleaning and start playing with dolls*
Mom/Dad:  go get the switch!
Me: dangit!

So, after many (many) different versions of the same story, I learned that I’m forgetful.  As a result, I believe in lists and writing myself notes.  I even tell people that they should assume that I’m going to forget unless they see me write it down.  And that’s where this whole wedding planning business starts…organization.  It’s been that way since the beginning, but in those last two weeks before the big day…it is essential.

I’ll start with the timelines that I sent to the wedding party, here’s a pic that’s probably too small to see:

I sent this out via email to everyone, including the ladies who would help me on the day of.  Now I didn’t have a wedding coordinator, but I did have a group of wonderful ladies who were amazingly helpful and deserve their own post and will get one.

Anyhoo, this was done in an Excel spreadsheet and had tabs at the bottom: week of, rehearsal, wedding and reception, wedding, cell phone numbers.  The week of tab was so that everyone could plan out their personal stuff around “mandatory” wedding activities and the rehearsal tab was for the dinner.  The wedding and reception tab was an all-encompassing timeline from 11 am until 11 pm broken down by the hour for the wedding party and vendors.  The wedding tab was broken down in fifteen minute increments and was how the actual ceremony should play out and the cell phone number tab was all wedding party and vendor phone/email contact info.

For those of you out there who are coordinating your own wedding, but relying on others to help on the day of…this is critical!  You don’t want to be the go to person for anything on the wedding day.  Your ladies and your coordinators have to know what you want done, when you want it done, and be able to contact folks if it’s not getting done.

And for you planning, organizing, list-making, Type-A’s like myself…you have to let it go.  You’ve got to trust your plan, trust your organization, trust that you’ve communicated your vision, and trust that your peeps love you enough to accomplish it for you…and then let it go.  You can’t worry about how things are going, you can’t be nipping at people’s heels making sure they’re doing things “right”, you can’t have a sour look on your face that makes other people nervous that they’re upsetting you.  The only thing you can do once you really hand the reigns over, is be positive and thankful and supportive of those folks who are kind enough to work like field slaves for you.

But playas…that’s the day of the wedding.  Until then, you hold on to your wedding plan and planning with a tight grip, lol!  Didn’t Charles Heston say something about cold, dead hands?  ‘Nuff said.

So how are you (or did you) staying organized?  Especially if you don’t have a coordinator to do everything for you…how will you make sure stuff happens the way you see it in your head?


organization!! April 3, 2010

Filed under: Details — Happy Nappy Bride @ 7:59 pm
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I’m a bit anal.  Everyone in my family makes fun of me for it…all of my friends know it.  I like things to be in order, all neat and tidy.  So I suppose it’s no surprise that I’ve started coming up with timelines to give to my wedding party, coordinators, and vendors.  I promise it’s not just because I find order to be fabulous…it’s also because I don’t want to be a crazy person on the wedding day.  I really want to be able to rely on my ‘maids and coordinators to get things done on May 28th.  I plan on handing my Blackberry over to my MOH in the morning and taking a backseat so that I’m not driving myself (and others!) crazy.

My wedding workbook has sample timelines for everyone and here they are:

This is the cover of the book…

Vendor timeline sample…

For the wedding party…

So I’ve started putting together timelines for the week of…so that I can keep track of when wedding party folks are arriving in to town, when flowers are arriving, when to get my eyebrows done, etc.  Then I’ve got a general one for the wedding day itself, then specifics for the day.

What are you doing to keep yourself organized?  How will you make sure that those people you’re trusting to help you out on the day of will get it right?


things that keep me up at night… February 24, 2010

Filed under: Staying sane — Happy Nappy Bride @ 11:17 am
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…aka: my wedding to-do list.  And the problem with this thing is that it’s constantly morphing into something bigger and badder.  Everytime I think I’ve tamed this unwieldy beast…it outwits me and continues to grow. *sigh*  Here’s where we stand now:

Info for the officiant (which happens to be The Mister’s dad)

  • I’ve got to pick up our marriage licence info, but it’s only good for 30 days, so I can’t get it that far in advance.
  • We’ve got to talk to his dad about the ceremony.  He tends to be a bit, um, verbose…so we’ve got to let him know that we want to keep it movin’.
  • With that, I need to come up with a ceremony outline.
  • His dad lives in Illinois but we’re getting married in Wisconsin, so he’s got to get a letter from a local pastor vouching for him (that’s weird, right?)

Stuff that needs to happen sooner rather than later

  • Our reception site’s letting us bring in our own bartender and alcohol, but I need to pick up an insurance rider to do it
  • I haven’t gotten The Mister a wedding band…and haven’t decided on engraving yet either.
  • Address & mail the invitations.
  • I need to come up with a full day timeline for everyone (wedding party & vendors).
  • Build chuppah for ceremony.

Stuff that I’ll probably leave ’til the last minute

  • Ordering food for rehearsal dinner picnic.
  • Buy vases to sit the bouquets in at the reception.
  • Shop for clothes for honeymoon.
  • Create the wedding program.
  • Buy a strapless bra for wedding dress.
  • Figure out what we’re doing for transportation that day.

Stuff that I think about but can wait

  • Name change info.
  • Thank you cards.

That’s it for now…how’s your list looking?  Are you stressing or feeling good?  Do you have all the major stuff (ceremony/reception sites, flowers, food, photagrapher) taken care of?


to whom it may concern January 28, 2010

Filed under: Details — Happy Nappy Bride @ 9:21 am
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I am well aware that my wedding is four months away, so your email this morning was not appreciated….it actually added a bit of unnecessary stress to my morning.  Since you all seem to want to be so helpful, why don’t you pop over this weekend and help me address some invitations?  Or how about you guys run over to Home Depot and pick up the materials for my chuppah…that’d be sweet and really save me some time.  Thanks dudes!

Aside from actually helping me with my to-do list, I’d also love it if you refrained from sending me stress-inducing emails.  Seriously.

Thanks for understanding,